Job Performance Feedback

When I stopped working full time and became a stay-at-home mom, I knew that I would no longer get the feedback on my work that you get in a career job. I knew there would be no more performance evaluations or awards or raises. Getting praise for my work was very important to me and I wanted to know I was doing a good job and feel accomplishment.

In motherhood the feedback comes in smaller, less obvious ways. It's rarely in a verbal form from someone else, but I might see some changes or improvements in Z's behavior. Or I might realize that something I struggled with is no longer a struggle. I see it the most when I have markers to highlight changes. For example, when I compare Z's two-year checkup with his three-year checkup, I can see Z's growth summarized in an hour-long contrast. At two years I had a very hard time keeping Z calm in the exam room. I did everything I could to entertain him and he was still whiney and upset most of the time. When the doctor came in he tried to get out of the room. He hid in the corner and just stared at the doctor. It took a lot of coaxing to get the exam done. I remember being very worried about his minimal speech and frustrated that I couldn't understand what he needed. At three years we had a good time in the exam room. We read together and watched the cars outside. When the doctor came in, he sat calmly on the exam table and was very curious about her tools. He talked to the doctor and wasn't the least bit shy or nervous. Although I can't say that the improvement is really a direct result of my parenting, because age and development are a part of it, I can at least feel good that I'm helping Z along the way. I can say to myself that I'm doing a good job.

Yesterday, I had the uncommon experience of having a lot of feedback all in one day. I talked about depression at our MOPS meeting. Not only did I see the other women connecting to what I was saying while I was talking, I also got a lot of comments about it afterward. I'm so thankful it was helpful to others. I really feel like the Lord is using my experience to encourage others. What a great feeling!
And then, I had my family over for dinner last night to celebrate Harper's birthday. Everyone is usually complimentary of my cooking, but my brother specifically said, "You do good work." Something about the phrasing made it stick in my head more than usual. And then, after everyone had left, John said, "Thank you for doing such a great job on Harper's birthday." That felt really great! It told me that he noticed the time I took to decorate and make special heart-shaped cupcakes and so on.

What a great day! Besides the feeling of accomplishment, I also just felt happy! Happy! Celebrating our little girl made me so thankful and joyful. She is such a treasure and I'm enjoying her so much. I have so much to be thankful for, including the ability to feel thankful. Hallelujah! Thank you, Heavenly Father.