Why I Picked Baby Wise

Let’s cut to the chase.
I’m using the Ezzo Baby Wise approach in structuring a routine for my baby.

I heard about Baby Wise from other Moms at church. I read Baby Wise (both the published book version and the binder from the Preparation for Parenting class), and found it extremely helpful for setting my mindset and principles regarding raising a family. The biblical principles behind it were in line with our thinking on how we wanted to raise our kids. Please note that I said principle. Ezzo makes a good distinction between principle and method (he calls it vehicle) in his book. So good, that I will quote it here:
“When it comes to parenting from a Christian worldview, one must be careful not to confuse biblical principles with the various applications of those principles. The application becomes the vehicle delivering the principle but is not the principle itself. For example, orderliness is a biblical principle, but how one achieves orderliness is the vehicle.“
In their classes and books, the Ezzos teach the principles and some practical applications they have seen to be successful.

John and I wanted to reflect principles such as: God is a God of order, not chaos. Establishing order to our household activities teaches our children early on about God and the security and comfort that come from that God-established order in the world. Also, God first created the marriage relationship of a man and wife. This is the relationship that binds for life; the children are born to be raised and leave the parents to establish their own lives. Therefore, the children should know that it is the parents’ job to set the routine for family life, not the children’s job.

Before you think I am so high-minded, if I’m truly honest, it was the application of the principles and the practical results that I really wanted. I chose Baby Wise first because of the promise (as in potential, not as in a vow) of my baby sleeping through the night as early as 7 weeks. Further, I have to admit that I thought Baby Wise would give me a perfect baby. You know the one—happy all the time, sleeps perfectly, only cries when hungry or tired (a delicate cry of communication, as if he is saying, please, Mommy, please, I’m really hungry).

Instead, I got a predictable baby. Mostly predictable, I should say. Predictable in crying, hunger, sleepiness and contentedness - all in the real baby range of behavior. I couldn’t expect Baby Z to never cry or to always do what I wanted perfectly (fall instantly asleep, sleep without a whimper through the night), but MOST of the time, Baby Z followed a pattern. I know that about an hour into his nap, he would wake a little, cry a little, then fall back asleep another hour. I know that he will get fussy about 15 minutes prior to naptime and want to be held. I know that the two hours after eating is the best time for visitors and activities. I know that he will most likely choose Sunday morning at church to decide not to nap.

Perhaps more importantly, I became predictable as well. With Baby Wise, I had a strategy for managing the day. I know what I would do when Baby Z cries when trying to go to sleep. I know when I will feed him. I know when I can do my chores, take a shower, take a nap. It took me a little while to accept the routine (more on the epiphany that helped me get there another time), but once I felt the hopeless turbulence of uncertainty and emotional decision-making, I embraced it like a lifesaver pulling me back to the boat called Sanity.

Of course things don’t always go as planned, and Baby Z is not a robot who behaves exactly the same all the time. Likewise, I’m not always totally consistent. There are days I curse the schedule (when I want to sleep in, for example), but now that I’ve tasted the goodness of that predictability, I’ll never doubt Baby Wise again. (Well, that is until I hit the next bump along the way and consider chucking it out the window… More on that another time).