Sometimes Things Come Easy

I've been decidedly grumpy for the past few days (a cold doesn't help) and I was sitting here grumbling about various things when I decided I needed to just focus on something positive. Remembering that I haven't blogged in a while, I decided I need to write about a child-rearing event that was simply a gift from God.

Harper is potty-trained.

No gearing up, no printing certificates, no stocking juice and rags and treats. One day John puts her in underwear. And it's a day I go to work, so the babysitter keeps it up. I come home and feel Harper's little underwear-clad bottom. Surprise! She went all day in underwear. No accidents.

WHAT!!??

I'm one of those moms who has one of those stories. Really? What a gift! What a GIGANTIC contrast to my potty-training experience with Z. (Feel free to read previous potty training angst.) This is nothing short of a beautifully wrapped, perfect gift from God.

So, to be clear, and so you don't hate me too much, Harper has been working up to it for a while. We started doing poops on the potty when she was less than two years old because it was easy to tell when she had to go and it usually helped her to not have a diaper on when she did it. Then, recently she was very picky about her pants feeling wet at all. The diapers had to be immediately changed and then if there was the slightest residual wetness, it had to be changed again. One day we counted 14 diapers changed. So I decided to try pull-ups, thinking at least she could change them herself. True. And then she changed them 16-20 times herself. At one point I actually pulled out the hair dryer to "dry" the pull-up and to dry, um, herself (gentle cool setting from far away, don't worry!).

The morning John put her in underwear was after changing her pull-up four times before 7am. Understandable. So, she was just ready. She liked the feel of the underwear and is generally aware of when she needs to go. She still needs reminders, and she has had some accidents. But it was so much simpler and easy-going than with our first inductee. And that's not to say that it is all based just on the child. My philosophy and approach this time was a lot more easy-going.

For example, I thought a lot more about whether Harper was ready. I talked about potty on the toilet a LONG time before I even considered working on it with her. My standard for being "potty-trained" is different. I didn't focus as much on Harper being able to do it ALL on her own. I believe that independence will come with time and practice and can be gradual. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I still help her get onto the toilet and wipe. She can pull her pants down and mostly back up, but is slow at it, so it depends on if we are in hurry mode whether she does it or not. I'm okay with reminding her. Mostly I just build it into our routine, so it's a pattern and doesn't feel like I'm nagging.

And, just in general, I have a lot less anxiety about it. I just knew she would get there eventually and didn't want to set any deadlines for it. With Z, I felt like if he wasn't trained it would seem like he was behind. I let social pressure suck me into it a bit. That said, there were a lot more issues at work with Z that we didn't know about at that time. So, a hug of grace to myself and let it go.

So, I'm thankful for milestones and Harper growing up. I'm thankful for learning from mistakes and being able to let go a bit more. I'm thankful for an easy-going, sweet little girl who continues to prove her middle name.