First Day Report

First day back went very smoothly. The handoff of Baby Z in the parking lot, getting into my old work place, seeing co-workers again. It was all a breeze. Like a friend of mine said, the anticipation is usually worse than the actual event.

It felt good to be just me (not Mommy me) for a good part of the day. I liked wearing my hair down all day, without baby hands to grab it. I liked going to the bathroom, a good distance from my desk, without having to listen for Baby Z and whether he got into something he shouldn't have. I liked eating my lunch whenever I wanted and making phone calls without having to think about Baby Z's schedule (about to wake up, about to sleep, etc.).

On the side of a reality check, I also had a hard time staying awake and was a little bored, since there wasn't a lot I could do on my first day back. I also felt a little dusty, like that part of my brain had atrophed just a little. I'm sure that will change soon enough and I'll be in the swing of things. I got a slight buzz seeing my name just where I left it on the organization chart, but quickly reminded myself it would be removed*. And that actually felt really good! I was relieved!

And, at the end of the day, I liked seeing Baby Z. His huge smile when he saw me was validation for all the effort and time I spend with him. I'm so thankful I can work a little and still have lots of time with my baby.


*Doing 8-10 hours/week, neither I nor my bosses thought I could hold the leadership position I had before, but I will be doing some similar things in a lot less volume.