Ah....I laughed and laughed....
Monday, June 29, 2009
When You Need A Laugh
Find the nearest hat (the dorkier the better) and put it on your infant.
Ah....I laughed and laughed....
Ah....I laughed and laughed....
Friday, June 19, 2009
Bedtime Confessions Part Two
It has been almost two weeks since we started our new approach to putting Z to bed. It has continued to have good results. Out of the seven or so days past the first three hard days, he is mostly getting out of bed just once. We are sticking to the rule of putting him back in bed with no tuck-in and it's been working. There were a couple nights where he put up a big fight and cried when we did (actually when John did it because Z cried that he wanted Mama to do it), but he also has done a couple of nights where he didn't get out of bed at all. Since I have been on my own two of the most recent nights, I am incredibly thankful that we have finally had a breakthrough on this. Bedtime feels manageable again, even with two kids and even if I'm by myself.
An interesting side effect has been that for the most part, Z has been sleeping better in the middle of the night also. He is waking up less and hasn't gotten as worked up when he does. I'm speaking generally, however, since last night was the worst in a while: he woke up about five times in the space of an hour and a half. By the fifth time, I was ready to explode (I admit I can get irrationally angry when I get woken up at night). I woke John up to handle it, partly because I thought Papa going in would settle Z down for good because he really wants Mama to keep coming in, and partly because I needed someone else to feel the pain, and partly so I wouldn't get even more angry. (Which I'm ashamed to think about in the clear light of morning when I can't imagine why I was so angry about it.)
Papa going in after Z had been getting increasingly worked up just threw him over the edge. Full on tantrum. At 1 am. Then the tantrum turned into disobedience (No, Papa!) and John had to discipline him. Man, it was brutal just listening to it, so I can't imagine doing it. Yet another way I would be lost without John. His patience and steadfastness continue to amaze me.
We are really hoping to get the bedtime and sleep at night more manageable because Harper will be moving into Z's room - now "the kids' room" - soon. I'm using every week I can in the bassinet, but before too long they'll be in the same room. I'm hoping we'll have some time to adjust to that and then we'll probably be potty training Z so then we'll have to start adjusting again. But one step at a time...
An interesting side effect has been that for the most part, Z has been sleeping better in the middle of the night also. He is waking up less and hasn't gotten as worked up when he does. I'm speaking generally, however, since last night was the worst in a while: he woke up about five times in the space of an hour and a half. By the fifth time, I was ready to explode (I admit I can get irrationally angry when I get woken up at night). I woke John up to handle it, partly because I thought Papa going in would settle Z down for good because he really wants Mama to keep coming in, and partly because I needed someone else to feel the pain, and partly so I wouldn't get even more angry. (Which I'm ashamed to think about in the clear light of morning when I can't imagine why I was so angry about it.)
Papa going in after Z had been getting increasingly worked up just threw him over the edge. Full on tantrum. At 1 am. Then the tantrum turned into disobedience (No, Papa!) and John had to discipline him. Man, it was brutal just listening to it, so I can't imagine doing it. Yet another way I would be lost without John. His patience and steadfastness continue to amaze me.
We are really hoping to get the bedtime and sleep at night more manageable because Harper will be moving into Z's room - now "the kids' room" - soon. I'm using every week I can in the bassinet, but before too long they'll be in the same room. I'm hoping we'll have some time to adjust to that and then we'll probably be potty training Z so then we'll have to start adjusting again. But one step at a time...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Harper Four Months
She continues to be my angel baby. Harper started laughing a couple weeks ago and this week she started really babbling with all kinds of sounds. When she eats she runs her hand and arm in a circle around the side of her face- from the top of her head, back behind her ear and then up her cheek and across her eyes. She has a nice amount of chub on her legs and a little on her arms. She has those little dimples along the knuckles of her hand.
We love you, Harper!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Bedtime Confessions
Ever since the beginning of the year Z has had trouble sleeping: going to bed at night, staying in bed at night, waking up during naps. It started before we switched to a toddler bed. In fact, it motivated us to switch to a toddler bed because I couldn't easily get Z back in bed, especially when I was 9 months pregnant. It started around the time when a dog barking woke him up and startled him. It took weeks to talk him down from that ledge. Every night he would talk about doggies barking and we started to cater to it and would check the door was locked, and turn on a fan. We even bought an air purifier (for white noise) and even started playing music. Eventually, I started to get worried about all of these props we were giving him for sleeping. We tried to emphasize what Z should do if he heard dogs barking (say: Hush, silly doggies!). Eventually the doggy fear fell by the wayside, but the waking up in the middle of the night didn't.
At first I chalked it up to the upcoming and then current change of having a new baby at home. When Harper started sleeping through the night and Z did also, I thought perhaps the baby had been disrupting his sleep. But it just keeps happening. Z wakes up in the middle of the night from one to three times. He cries and calls for Mama. Sometimes he gets out of bed and comes into our room. We put him back in bed, tuck his blanket in and he usually settles down again quickly. It's hard to know if he is legitimately upset or just fussy because he woke up and wants us to help him go back to sleep. In the middle of the night, we try to just get him in bed and tuck him in; no talking or extended interaction.
And it's happening during his naps, also. He'll wake up crying and upset and sometimes this goes into a full tantrum. At first I tried the middle of the night routine, but recently I've started to treat it more as a discipline issue. I tell him he needs to calm himself down and not throw a tantrum. If he doesn't want to get back in bed, I tell him he can do a time-out instead. So far, he picks bed. I also tell him he can't get up from a nap if he's grumpy. If he's whiny and wants up, I tell him to rest until he is happy, not grumpy. This has prompted him to declare, "Mama, Me happy!" when he gets up in the morning. (pretty cute!) These tactics have helped, but none of them "solved" the problem. Everyone tells me this is a phase and that it will get better. Z always has had trouble with the 45-minute intruder.
Besides the waking up from sleep, Z also started really putting up a fight going to bed at night. Now I realize how good we've had it for over a year, when the norm was to do the bedtime routine, leave and that was it. For six months or so, we've had to put him back in bed multiple times (crib and toddler bed). Just recently (maybe the last two months), it got a lot worse. We would spend about thirty minutes after putting him in bed putting him back in bed. We tried many tactics to motivate him to stay in bed: quality time before bed (see this post), rewards (George sticker and a treat), discipline (time out and spanking), repetition (putting him back over and over). Honestly, where we failed was to pick one method and stick with it. Between John and I and depending on the night, how we handled him getting out of bed varied a lot.
So, we (well, John really) finally decided it was time to stop. John started the Super Nanny approach of putting him back in bed without discussion. The difference was that now we told him we were not going to tuck him in. The "tuck" is a big motivator for Z. He loves getting tucked in and started to depend on it (or at least expect it) no matter how many times he got out of bed. Starting Monday, Z only got one tuck in. When he got out of bed, John put him back. Out. Back. Out Back. Out. BackOutBackOutBackOutBack...
Night One: 60 minutes pretty much continuous. A good portion of this was crying and screaming. If I had to guess, John (mostly) and I (a little) put him back in bed around 40 times.
Night Two: 60 minutes of putting him back over a 90 minute period. The rest of the time he played quietly. We didn't check up on him to see if he was in bed. I guess for now we are just waiting to see if he comes out of the bedroom.
Night Three: a little less than 60 minutes, but not as much hysteria. More time in between playing in his room.
Night Four (last night): 5 minutes. He got out of bed once. ONCE! Hallelujah!
During this whole thing we questioned our approach, we almost caved, I wanted to cry, John missed the ending a Laker game, I didn't get to eat cookies, and there was a questionable incident of an "accidental" tuck-in (it was purely accidental, I promise!). There's no way I could have done it alone. John has way more endurance and is not easily swayed by the emotion of it all. Although I'm not going to call the battle over just yet, at least we can see improvement. I'm sure it will come and go, as everything does with kids, but it feels so good to finally have decided on a strategy and be sticking to it. How many times will we have to re-learn that lesson?
At first I chalked it up to the upcoming and then current change of having a new baby at home. When Harper started sleeping through the night and Z did also, I thought perhaps the baby had been disrupting his sleep. But it just keeps happening. Z wakes up in the middle of the night from one to three times. He cries and calls for Mama. Sometimes he gets out of bed and comes into our room. We put him back in bed, tuck his blanket in and he usually settles down again quickly. It's hard to know if he is legitimately upset or just fussy because he woke up and wants us to help him go back to sleep. In the middle of the night, we try to just get him in bed and tuck him in; no talking or extended interaction.
And it's happening during his naps, also. He'll wake up crying and upset and sometimes this goes into a full tantrum. At first I tried the middle of the night routine, but recently I've started to treat it more as a discipline issue. I tell him he needs to calm himself down and not throw a tantrum. If he doesn't want to get back in bed, I tell him he can do a time-out instead. So far, he picks bed. I also tell him he can't get up from a nap if he's grumpy. If he's whiny and wants up, I tell him to rest until he is happy, not grumpy. This has prompted him to declare, "Mama, Me happy!" when he gets up in the morning. (pretty cute!) These tactics have helped, but none of them "solved" the problem. Everyone tells me this is a phase and that it will get better. Z always has had trouble with the 45-minute intruder.
Besides the waking up from sleep, Z also started really putting up a fight going to bed at night. Now I realize how good we've had it for over a year, when the norm was to do the bedtime routine, leave and that was it. For six months or so, we've had to put him back in bed multiple times (crib and toddler bed). Just recently (maybe the last two months), it got a lot worse. We would spend about thirty minutes after putting him in bed putting him back in bed. We tried many tactics to motivate him to stay in bed: quality time before bed (see this post), rewards (George sticker and a treat), discipline (time out and spanking), repetition (putting him back over and over). Honestly, where we failed was to pick one method and stick with it. Between John and I and depending on the night, how we handled him getting out of bed varied a lot.
So, we (well, John really) finally decided it was time to stop. John started the Super Nanny approach of putting him back in bed without discussion. The difference was that now we told him we were not going to tuck him in. The "tuck" is a big motivator for Z. He loves getting tucked in and started to depend on it (or at least expect it) no matter how many times he got out of bed. Starting Monday, Z only got one tuck in. When he got out of bed, John put him back. Out. Back. Out Back. Out. BackOutBackOutBackOutBack...
Night One: 60 minutes pretty much continuous. A good portion of this was crying and screaming. If I had to guess, John (mostly) and I (a little) put him back in bed around 40 times.
Night Two: 60 minutes of putting him back over a 90 minute period. The rest of the time he played quietly. We didn't check up on him to see if he was in bed. I guess for now we are just waiting to see if he comes out of the bedroom.
Night Three: a little less than 60 minutes, but not as much hysteria. More time in between playing in his room.
Night Four (last night): 5 minutes. He got out of bed once. ONCE! Hallelujah!
During this whole thing we questioned our approach, we almost caved, I wanted to cry, John missed the ending a Laker game, I didn't get to eat cookies, and there was a questionable incident of an "accidental" tuck-in (it was purely accidental, I promise!). There's no way I could have done it alone. John has way more endurance and is not easily swayed by the emotion of it all. Although I'm not going to call the battle over just yet, at least we can see improvement. I'm sure it will come and go, as everything does with kids, but it feels so good to finally have decided on a strategy and be sticking to it. How many times will we have to re-learn that lesson?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Toddler Regression
I've heard of toddlers regressing to infant behavior when a new baby comes into the family, but I didn't expect this:
Or this- yes, that's Z swaddled:
Thankfully, there have been only momentary relapses. And they have been pretty hilarious.
Or this- yes, that's Z swaddled:
Thankfully, there have been only momentary relapses. And they have been pretty hilarious.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Newborn Routine - 16 weeks
Here's an update on Harper's Routine.
Feeding Times:
Every three hours starting at 7am: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10:30pm.
Harper dropped the first middle of the night feeding around 6 weeks and I pushed her to drop the second middle of the night feeding at 12 weeks. She still wakes up early on some days (around 6:30am or so). When she does, I usually just feed her (for now anyway) and adjust the next couple of feedings by 15 minutes or so to get her back to the usual feeding times.
Awake Times: Harper stays awake for an hour to an hour and a half (including the feeding time). I find she is able to stay up longer (1 1/2 hours or even a little more, although I don't let her go that long if I can help it) after the 7am feeding and after the 4pm feeding.
Activities: The second child gets a lot less interaction with Mom, that's for sure. Harper does a lot of sitting in her chair and watching. I try to get her on the play mate (back and tummy) once a day, but not as often as I would like because I have to sit by her and watch the Z factor.
Nap Times: Harper sleeps about 1 1/2 to 2 hours. If we're at home and she's in her bed, she'll sleep really well and I usually have to wake her up for the next feeding. She does wake up mid-way (45-minute intruder) through the nap pretty often. She'll cry for 5-10 minutes and then go back to sleep. When she sleeps in her car seat, it is a lot harder to get her to go back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of her nap. She's pretty good-natured about it (unlike Z was), but when that happens, I sometimes feed her a little early (15 minutes) and put her down early for the next nap.
Going to sleep: I have been using the pacifier with Harper which puts her out really quickly. She would rarely cry, and if she did it was 5 minutes at the most. I told myself I wouldn't go past 3 months with the pacifier with Baby Number Two to avoid Pacifier Addiction, but here I am almost to four months. I was struggling about continuing to use it but now I'm noticing she is getting her hands to her mouth more readily and seems to want them instead of the pacifier. So, I'm going to try to go with that when I can, and when it's too hard (lots of crying), I'll probably go back to the pacifier. Most importantly, I'm watching my own compulsion to put the pacifier in; I'm trying to watch and wait rather than going for the easy "plug."
Next transition in the routine: I'm watching for signs that Harper can go to the 4-hour feeding interval. Baby Wise says to watch for when you're waking baby up for every feeding. It says this typically happens between 3 and 4 months of age. She is able to stay up longer and longer now. For a 4-hour schedule, she should be able to stay up an hour and a half pretty easily. Also, I'm waiting to see when she appears less fervent about the feeding, kind of like I saw before I pushed her to drop the last middle of the night feeding. I would also like to see her more consistently wake up at 7am, although that is not a must. I think she'll be ready pretty soon, but I'm not in a rush. Just watching and waiting. Although, in the back of my mind I remember that when I switched Z to a 4-hour feeding schedule that I felt a dramatic sense of relief and freedom. So, perhaps that will motivate me to make the change pretty soon here.
Feeding Times:
Every three hours starting at 7am: 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10:30pm.
Harper dropped the first middle of the night feeding around 6 weeks and I pushed her to drop the second middle of the night feeding at 12 weeks. She still wakes up early on some days (around 6:30am or so). When she does, I usually just feed her (for now anyway) and adjust the next couple of feedings by 15 minutes or so to get her back to the usual feeding times.
Awake Times: Harper stays awake for an hour to an hour and a half (including the feeding time). I find she is able to stay up longer (1 1/2 hours or even a little more, although I don't let her go that long if I can help it) after the 7am feeding and after the 4pm feeding.
Activities: The second child gets a lot less interaction with Mom, that's for sure. Harper does a lot of sitting in her chair and watching. I try to get her on the play mate (back and tummy) once a day, but not as often as I would like because I have to sit by her and watch the Z factor.
Nap Times: Harper sleeps about 1 1/2 to 2 hours. If we're at home and she's in her bed, she'll sleep really well and I usually have to wake her up for the next feeding. She does wake up mid-way (45-minute intruder) through the nap pretty often. She'll cry for 5-10 minutes and then go back to sleep. When she sleeps in her car seat, it is a lot harder to get her to go back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of her nap. She's pretty good-natured about it (unlike Z was), but when that happens, I sometimes feed her a little early (15 minutes) and put her down early for the next nap.
Going to sleep: I have been using the pacifier with Harper which puts her out really quickly. She would rarely cry, and if she did it was 5 minutes at the most. I told myself I wouldn't go past 3 months with the pacifier with Baby Number Two to avoid Pacifier Addiction, but here I am almost to four months. I was struggling about continuing to use it but now I'm noticing she is getting her hands to her mouth more readily and seems to want them instead of the pacifier. So, I'm going to try to go with that when I can, and when it's too hard (lots of crying), I'll probably go back to the pacifier. Most importantly, I'm watching my own compulsion to put the pacifier in; I'm trying to watch and wait rather than going for the easy "plug."
Next transition in the routine: I'm watching for signs that Harper can go to the 4-hour feeding interval. Baby Wise says to watch for when you're waking baby up for every feeding. It says this typically happens between 3 and 4 months of age. She is able to stay up longer and longer now. For a 4-hour schedule, she should be able to stay up an hour and a half pretty easily. Also, I'm waiting to see when she appears less fervent about the feeding, kind of like I saw before I pushed her to drop the last middle of the night feeding. I would also like to see her more consistently wake up at 7am, although that is not a must. I think she'll be ready pretty soon, but I'm not in a rush. Just watching and waiting. Although, in the back of my mind I remember that when I switched Z to a 4-hour feeding schedule that I felt a dramatic sense of relief and freedom. So, perhaps that will motivate me to make the change pretty soon here.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Our Routine: Two Kids - Checkup
Now that we've been doing the two kid thing for a little over three months, I thought I would do a checkup on our routine and see what has changed. The biggest thing is that Harper is awake for longer periods of time. This means I have more time with both kids together now. Harper spends a lot of time in her chair watching, but I figure watching me and Z play is just as good an activity as other things for her. Also, I pretty much let Z watch TV whenever I feed Harper. Since she only eats for 15-30 minutes, this is a good time limit for TV. I try to save the TV watching just for that time (although I admit I'm not always succeeding at that). Although TV isn't ideal, I'm trying to relax and not worry about it. It will become less frequent as we are able to get out more as Harper gets bigger.
The changes since the last time I posted our routine are in red.
Some changes I would still like to make are giving Z more alone play time and more structured play time. A friend referred me to a good website, Productive Parenting, for ideas for activities. I'm going to start working on some with Z to help him improve his attention span and stay focused on things for longer. For now, I can get him to stick with something on his own for about 5-10 minutes. I'd like this to be closer to 15 minutes.
The changes since the last time I posted our routine are in red.
| Time | Harper | Z | Mom |
| 7am | Wake Up, Feeding, "Play" in chair in bathroom while I'm in the shower | Still asleep, or still playing in bed | Feeding (about 15 minutes), Take shower |
| 8am | Awake Time; usually in seat while we're getting breakfast | Wake Up & Breakfast | Get Breakfast for Z |
| 8:30 - 9:00am | Nap (On days we have to leave at 8:45, I'll put her to sleep in her car seat) | Breakfast cont'd, Some Television, Getting Dressed | Put Harper to bed, Get Breakfast, Get Ready. |
| 8:45 or 9am | Move to Car Seat | Get in Car | Get Kids in Car (When we have to be somewhere, approx. 3-4 times per week.). |
| 10am - 10:20am | Feeding | Play. Z watches TV. | Feeding |
| 10:30-11:15am | Awake time; Mon & Wed -bath time; Tues- awake in car seat at grocery store Thurs: out on errands or at park Frid: Playmat, tummy time, bath | Mon: Playtime outside with Mom & Harper (in baby carrier) Or, watches while I give Harper a bath Tues: Grocery store Wed: With babysitter outside or at park Thurs: park, outside, errands | Mon, Thurs: Playtime with Z (outside when possible) Wed: Housework Frid: Housework & play with Harper |
| 11:30 | Nap in car seat; often transfer her to bed when we get home Or nap at home | Outside or grocery store/errands; Bath at home couple times a week | Grocery store/errands or home with kid(s) |
| 12pm | Still Napping | Clean up and Lunch Playtime with Mom | Lunch & Play with Z |
| 1pm | Feeding | Feeding | |
| 1:30-2:00pm | Sit with Z and me | Read books then go to bed for nap | Put Z down for nap and then Harper |
| 2:00pm-4pm | A little more awake time just with Mom; Nap by 2:30pm | Nap | Nap (aahhh.... God shines his goodness on me!) Still napping, but not as long. Try to get 30-45 minutes. 3:30pm - do 10 minute Pilates video 3 times a week and check email or read the other two days, Prep for dinner (cut up things, get ingredients measured) |
| 4pm | Feeding | Get up & Snack. If Z isn't out of his room by 4pm, he plays in there while I'm feeding Harper. Usually he's up and eats his snack and then watches TV while I feed Harper. This is one feeding where sometimes he'll play and we won't turn the TV on. | Feeding & Snack |
| 4:30pm - 5:30pm | Outside in carrier with Mom | Play outside with Mom & Harper | Outside |
| 5:30pm-6pm | Nap | Alone Play time | |
| 6/6:30pm | Nap | Dinner | Dinner and then clean up |
| 7pm | Feeding | Playtime with Dad | Feeding |
| 7:45pm | Sit with us for storytime before Z goes to bed | Get ready for bed and storytime | Storytime |
| 8/8:15pm - 10pm | Nap | Bed | Clean up, Change into PJs, Watch TV with John |
| 10:30pm | Feeding | Bed | Feeding |
| 10:45/11pm | Bed | Bed | Bed |
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