It has been almost two weeks since we started our new approach to putting Z to bed. It has continued to have good results. Out of the seven or so days past the first three hard days, he is mostly getting out of bed just once. We are sticking to the rule of putting him back in bed with no tuck-in and it's been working. There were a couple nights where he put up a big fight and cried when we did (actually when John did it because Z cried that he wanted Mama to do it), but he also has done a couple of nights where he didn't get out of bed at all. Since I have been on my own two of the most recent nights, I am incredibly thankful that we have finally had a breakthrough on this. Bedtime feels manageable again, even with two kids and even if I'm by myself.
An interesting side effect has been that for the most part, Z has been sleeping better in the middle of the night also. He is waking up less and hasn't gotten as worked up when he does. I'm speaking generally, however, since last night was the worst in a while: he woke up about five times in the space of an hour and a half. By the fifth time, I was ready to explode (I admit I can get irrationally angry when I get woken up at night). I woke John up to handle it, partly because I thought Papa going in would settle Z down for good because he really wants Mama to keep coming in, and partly because I needed someone else to feel the pain, and partly so I wouldn't get even more angry. (Which I'm ashamed to think about in the clear light of morning when I can't imagine why I was so angry about it.)
Papa going in after Z had been getting increasingly worked up just threw him over the edge. Full on tantrum. At 1 am. Then the tantrum turned into disobedience (No, Papa!) and John had to discipline him. Man, it was brutal just listening to it, so I can't imagine doing it. Yet another way I would be lost without John. His patience and steadfastness continue to amaze me.
We are really hoping to get the bedtime and sleep at night more manageable because Harper will be moving into Z's room - now "the kids' room" - soon. I'm using every week I can in the bassinet, but before too long they'll be in the same room. I'm hoping we'll have some time to adjust to that and then we'll probably be potty training Z so then we'll have to start adjusting again. But one step at a time...
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Hey Dara!
Not that you're asking but I thought I'd chip in what little I know.... My second one, Nora, was a great sleeper at 8 wks to 10 mos. I simply don't know what happened (I was newley pregnant and I wonder if my milk was different and I had started introducing cow milk?) but there was just a lot of waking during the night and crying out at that point. We thought there were disobedience issues later one but at some point we realized she was actually asleep! I'm wondering if when he wakes if he is fully awake? My sister has a boy who also wakes and is unconsolable but then at some point will just snap out of it and go back to sleep although he is usually asleep anyway. (But maybe it's just something in our family....) It's strange. But I just wonder if his waking during the night is because he's sorta wired up that way? That's what it's come to with Nora. She just doesn't sleep like the others.
And he will probably totally grow out of this phase. If there's one thing I've learned in being a mom - try not to put your time frame on when the phase should end. Nora is almost 5 1/2 and there is still crying out during the night but now I don't have to comfort her every time.
I think you are doing all you can to make his night time a good and pleasant thing! Keep up the good work!!
kristi
p.s. I TOTALLY understand the anger in the night business - but I think it's so sweet that he wants his mama 24/7 :) Hang in there!!
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