Thanksgiving

Why is it harder to be thankful some days? For me, I tend to get into a spiral of negativity. If something goes wrong, I can let it take things over. I get engrossed in what is going wrong in the day instead of paying attention to what is right and good. How much better would all of life be if we were simply thankful ALL of the time? Jesus came to give us abundant life and yet we choose to not notice, or worse, deny it.

As it has been one of my recent spiritual goals to be grateful (to combat resentment and bitterness), I'm going to take some time to list some things for which I'm thankful. I hope you all don't mind if some of these are a little more personal than what I would share with my in-laws around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

• My husband and his provision for our family that allows me to be at home with Z
  
• My beautiful boy, Z, who challenges me to be a better person by simply pressing the water lever on the fridge and spraying water everywhere
  
• My difficulty putting on socks and the constant need to pull up my pants because I'm carrying a little baby girl
  
• Family who have seen me through every phase of my life and who I enjoy spending time with; Family gained through marriage who give our little family-unit space and respect to be what we want to be and who l enjoy spending time with.
  
• Friends who love my son like a nephew, friends that make me laugh, friends who have or are having babies, friends I can go to for advice, friends I love to have dinner with, friends I can shop with (and who'll tell me that color really doesn't work)
  
• The leak in the roof over our bed, which reminds me what a blessing it is to have a home
  
• The extra "padding" pregnancy gives me that John enjoys so much (and another reason to be thankful for the first item above)
  
• Pumpkin pie, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin bread with chocolate chips, round, orange pumpkins everywhere
  
• Traveling while on my couch, in bed, brushing my teeth: reading a book
  
• A stand mixer and colder weather, which make me want to bake
  
• Good music on an ipod and a walk with Z in the jog stroller
  
• Our down comforter and my toasty husband on a cold night
  
• Garbage trucks and trash cans, which bring Z so much joy
  
• Babysitters, of the familial and professional variety, who give me a break and make me happy to come home again
  
• Thanksgiving, the holiday that gives and doesn't expect much in return
  

P.S. One more item: the internet and Google. I'm making a pecan pie and I just googled what it's supposed to look like when it's done. Yeah! Thanks to Visual Recipes

Two Year Checkup

We just went to Z's 2-year doctor checkup. Overall, it was great. I was able to talk to the doctor about some concerns I had and I felt like we addressed everything.

First, Z has still had problems with constipation (see The Straight Poop). It's been a challenge every single day to make sure I'm getting him vegetables (but not cooked carrots apparently) and juice and not too many carbohydrates. I started counting grams of fiber (a real eye-opener I would recommend to everyone) in what he was eating. I cut back on how much milk he was drinking (from 24 to 18-20 ounces). I've called the doctor's office in the past and talked to the nurse who suggested more juice. Really? I didn't want to give him more the 4 ounces a day and it didn't seem to help that much.

After talking to my doctor (whose daughter also has a similar problem), she suggested I use Miralax. It's a mild laxative that dissolves in any liquid. I can tailor the dose to what Z will need to help him along. I so appreciated my doctor's response that eating can be enough of a struggle with toddlers so she didn't see any reason to not help things along in the poop department. I am so relieved to be able to feed Z a balanced diet but not freak out when he's had a little more bread or cheese one day. We've only been on it for a day, but there has already been an improvement. I just have to find the right balance of just enough and not too much. Hallelujah! I can't tell you how much better I feel knowing that his screaming and crying with a poop won't be a weekly (if not twice weekly) occurrence.

Second, I talked to my doctor about Z's speech development. Since my last post (Word to Yo Motha), I talked to a friend who is a child speech therapist and changed my outlook on things. I told her how many words Z uses regularly and she said that she thought we should get him evaluated. She explained how there is so much they can do to help things along and that they learn so quickly at this age. She said the evaluation would be very casual and not scary for Z. Bottom line: what could it hurt? And the possible benefits are big if we do find something major or minor that we can work on.

I realized that it was a selfish pride that made me shy away from it. Of course we want to think our children are perfect. Admitting that Z has a speech delay was a hard thing for me. It still is, honestly. Also, as a parent, It's always easy to think you messed something up. I realized my true feelings about it more when I brought it up with my Mom and John mentioned it to his parents. I was very cautious and worried about what they would think or say. I don't know what I was thinking. All the grandparents are completely on board that it will be a good thing for Z. And, going into it, I have the blessing of being very confident that we aren't dealing with a autism spectrum disorder. My doctor reassured me that Z had really great eye contact and normal social interaction. That helps me to not fear the potential results of Z's evaluation.

I'm also encouraged that just in the last couple of weeks, with my focus on his words, I have encouraged Z to try more words and I have seen a big jump in the sounds he tries to make and repeat. And that is without me really knowing what to teach him. Think what we'll be able to do when we know what a speech therapist recommends! I think he has realized the importance and power of words more now. He definitely understands that a well-repeated phrase can be hilarious. At the store, I said, "Oh, man!" because of something. He started repeating it and it is the funniest thing. It sounds like, "ah, maaa," but he imitates the same intonation. I'll have to get it on video. We've had a lot of laughs about it.

So, all in all, an excellent checkup. I'm so, so happy about the easier pooping. And I'm really excited for what we're going to learn with Z's speech evaluation. I'll be sure to post about it when we go (not for a couple of weeks).

P.S. On a side note related to the checkup, Z had to get three shots (in the arm? does that start when they turn two?) and then have his blood drawn. The shots were bad, but we got through it. But the blood draw... oh, maaa.... it was terrible. It took me and two big guy technicians to hold him down. And they had a hard time getting the vein so you can imagine.... Surprisingly, I handled it all very calmly- and I can't even look when my own blood is drawn. Anyway, I have even MORE sympathy for those parents who have to go through a child's sickness or surgery. God grants courage to parents.

Birthday Boy

The day is finally here! Baby Z is TWO YEARS OLD! I will officially transition to using "Z" or "BBZ" (Big Boy/ Big Brother Z) as his moniker.
I took this picture yesterday with a new t-shirt he got from Uncle and Auntie M. I asked if I could take his picture on the front porch, thinking he would just stand there. He plopped himself down on the step and gave me a nice smile. Sometimes this kid can just melt me into a pool with his sweetness.

We got a few books from the library about birthdays, so I think he kind of gets that it's a special day, but I think it will sink in more when we have family over on Friday night.
I had my usual MOPS meeting this morning so we will really start celebrating this afternoon. Although, his babysitter, Miss Sarah, takes him around to see trash cans, so that's a celebration already! This afternoon we're going to try finger painting for the first time. I got him the paints and a big paper pad for his birthday, but the real gift is me getting over my aversion to mess and letting him do it.

For dinner, we are going to have pancakes. I think it may be a tradition for us to have breakfast for dinner for birthdays. Unless Z turns out to be more of a steak guy or something and then I guess we'll go with whatever he wants. But who doesn't love breakfast for dinner?
This picture says it all:


Happy Birthday to my special little guy!

The Crabbies

If you ask my husband about my last pregnancy, one of the first things he would probably mention is my mood. Let's just say it transgressed easily into temper and aggression. Oh yeah, and then there was the irrational stubbornness, emotional frustration and complete lack of self-control when tired or hungry.
IT'S BA-ACK!

I've had more moments lately of temper and frustration. It's usually when I'm tired, but I seem to be tiring more easily now. And, sometime it's the smallest thing that pushes me over the edge, like, a shirt that rubs me the wrong way (and has been doing it all day), or a hair that keeps tickling my forehead. I lose my patience with Baby Z and then I take it all out on John. Where did that second trimester energy and euphoria go?

So, one thing I've instituted lately is having one hour per weekend for myself away from the house. John has always been great about giving me any time I need, but I realized that I have a hard time asking for it. I never thought I would struggle with that, but I do hesitate asking if I have recently asked for John's help a lot. As if there is a quota and I only get so much time per week? I know it's silly, but I can't deny I feel it. The one hour a weekend is a way for me to always have the time and not have to ask. We have only done one weekend so far, but it felt really good. I looked forward to it and really appreciated the time. We were flexible about when I took it; Saturday got too busy so I went Sunday afternoon. Some weekends it might not work out, but at least both John and I will make it a priority.

Did I come back from my time away with a shining new attitude to serve my family? Unfortunately, no. Sad to say, I let the crabbiness bubble up to the surface. Perhaps the next weekend I will spend some time praying and thinking about the wonderful gifts in my life. My one hour weekend time isn't a cure all, but, used the right way, I hope it will help a little.

33

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a very good day - the perfect mix of time with Baby Z, time by myself (a little shopping), time with a close friend and, finally, dinner with my husband. All my friends and family made me feel loved and appreciated. Even Baby Z was a little more mellow than usual (unfortunately, because of a cold) and we spent time sitting on Mama and Dada's bed reading books.

Perhaps because yesterday was so great, today is hard. Baby Z is cranky because of his cold. He also didn't take a long nap, so I'm delaying the inevitable at the moment- when I go get him and then I spend the rest of the day trying to keep him occupied and dealing with tantrums. I hate colds. It's hard to find the right balance between keeping up our standard for behavior while allowing for some grace because he doesn't feel well. Everyone is crabby when they're sick. I know I am, for sure.

Well, anyway, I mostly wanted to write to tell everyone how thankful I am for the awesome birthday. I am so richly blessed to have such loving family and friends.

Off to get the dude. He is especially pitiful with his hoarse little crying voice. Sigh.

Enjoying the One-Child Moment

I got some good advice from a friend recently who reminded me that I should enjoy the time I have left when it is just Baby Z and me. It really put things in perspective that the one-child phase of my life will soon be over. Wasn't I just thinking about the no-child phase being over?
So, I started a list of things I want to do with Baby Z before February. Some are things we've done before and some will be new. Here's a start:

• Children's train ride at local park
  
• Bike ride
  
• Another petting zoo
  
• Beach (maybe Dog Beach?)
  
• Fingerpaint (I got some for his birthday)
  
• Fly a kite
  
• Visit babies in the hospital (prep for when our baby girl comes)
  
• Storytime at the library
  
• Start timeouts
  
• Go on walks with Baby Z on a tricycle (we want to get him one for Christmas)
  
• Teach Baby Z to jump (he's almost there!)
  
• Play with flashlights on Mom & Dad's bed
  
• Read one more book when Baby Z asks
  

Not to say that I can't do these things after Baby Girl comes, but I do want to cherish the moments we have together now. Before I know it Baby Z will be BBZ (Big Brother/Boy Z).

Love Me Some Orange

Baby Z's Halloween costume was adorable for 2.5 minutes. It was a balmy 75 degrees that night and this fur was really warm:


I had to really regroup to remember that Halloween was about having fun and not get too disappointed about the short-lived costume. After peeling the costume off a writhing Baby Z, we went to a Fall Festival at my Mom's church. It's the same one I went to many, many times as a kid and a lot of the games were exactly the same. Talk about a blast from the past. Anyway, the bouncy house was Baby Z's favorite thing, although he really liked eating 3 mini-cupcakes also.

The day before Halloween, we went to a pumpkin patch that has rides and a petting zoo. Baby Z LOVED riding the choo-choo train. He got to sit in the front car and he rang the bell the entire time. It was so adorable! I was grinning the entire time. I finally understand why parents go to Disneyland and places like that. Seeing that look of joy on his face was worth the inconveniences (crowds, heat, cost, etc.).


All in all, our fall and Halloween festivities were fun. What's better than a pumpkin bigger than your child?