Contagious Laughter
For those catching up, I've been counting gifts from God to stir up the joy in my life. Hope this brings you some joy today.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Evolution of a Room II
Two years ago I posted on how I rearranged the kids room to fit Harper in a crib and Z in a toddler bed. I can't believe we have now just transitioned again for the final time (at least in this two-bedroom house).
As Harper likes to tell everyone who will listen (including strangers): "I hab bunt-bed!" (I have a bunk bed!)
So I moved Harper from a mini crib to a twin bed! She is so tiny in it, but she loves it. Z is stoked to be on the top and is loving the extra wall space for his artwork that this brings. The first week of bedtime was pretty rough; lots of playing instead of sleeping, but they are getting used to it now. We were already disciplining Harper if she got out of her crib so we continued that (with some grace the first few nights as she adjusted) and she is doing really well.
I had a lot of fun planning this next phase of the kids' room. Bunk bed, dresser and comforters are from Ikea. The bunk bed took 5 hours to assemble. Thank you, John! And I only had to paint the turquoise circles in the room to a spring green color to give the room a bigger kid look. And that little storage unit with the pull out drawers is a life-saver! I can't believe the relief when I got all the toys put away in the drawers and there was even more room to pull out some of the toys I had to keep buried in the closet. I'm really happy with the result!
As Harper likes to tell everyone who will listen (including strangers): "I hab bunt-bed!" (I have a bunk bed!)
So I moved Harper from a mini crib to a twin bed! She is so tiny in it, but she loves it. Z is stoked to be on the top and is loving the extra wall space for his artwork that this brings. The first week of bedtime was pretty rough; lots of playing instead of sleeping, but they are getting used to it now. We were already disciplining Harper if she got out of her crib so we continued that (with some grace the first few nights as she adjusted) and she is doing really well.
I had a lot of fun planning this next phase of the kids' room. Bunk bed, dresser and comforters are from Ikea. The bunk bed took 5 hours to assemble. Thank you, John! And I only had to paint the turquoise circles in the room to a spring green color to give the room a bigger kid look. And that little storage unit with the pull out drawers is a life-saver! I can't believe the relief when I got all the toys put away in the drawers and there was even more room to pull out some of the toys I had to keep buried in the closet. I'm really happy with the result!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Death's Sting
I just heard that my neighbor's 20 year-old son passed away. He struggled with drug addiction and it finally was what ended his life.
I've been thinking about what to write in a sympathy card to the family, and especially the mom, who I talk to pretty regularly. The words I use will probably be gentle and vague and perhaps not very meaningful. But what I want to say is that...
Death is a terrible, tragic thing in anyone's life. It is wrong and unfair. It is the hateful conclusion to our lifelong struggle against the curse of sin and death we inherited from our first father, Adam. Even when it is a person who has lived a long life of many good things, there is still a great loss and sadness. In the best case, those left behind can be comforted that they will see their loved one again when they meet in heaven with their Lord and Savior. But even then, it just doesn't feel right. We were created as eternal beings. Interruption of our life, even if it is just in this world, still seems wrong.
And to think of how a mother must feel to see her son, still young, cut off by an addiction that crippled the fruitfulness of much of his life. The regret, the guilt, the what-if's, if-only's. I think of how much potential and hope I have for my own son and I imagine the deep, gut-wrenching sadness of seeing him make the wrong decisions. Watching him walk a path that will only lead to destruction.
What a wake-up call to what really matters in this life. I'm outside trimming rose bushes, contemplating these things and I pray that God would protect my kids from life-stealing sins. And then I thought what I really need to pray for is just that they would know their needfulness of God. That they would see their sin when they are small and learn to go to God for forgiveness and restoration. That God would clothe them in wisdom and strengthen them in making choices that please Him. And I pray that God would continually focus me on the things that really matter. The heart issues that lie below the surface. Not just the behaviors that annoy or hurt on the outside.
As ugly and sad as it is, I'm thankful for death. I'm thankful for the reminder that this life is just a blink of the eye. We are but grass that withers away and the things that matter are the eternal ones... loving God with all our heart, soul and strength.
Lord, help me store up treasures that do not fade: the thoughts, attitudes and actions that honor You.
I've been thinking about what to write in a sympathy card to the family, and especially the mom, who I talk to pretty regularly. The words I use will probably be gentle and vague and perhaps not very meaningful. But what I want to say is that...
Death is a terrible, tragic thing in anyone's life. It is wrong and unfair. It is the hateful conclusion to our lifelong struggle against the curse of sin and death we inherited from our first father, Adam. Even when it is a person who has lived a long life of many good things, there is still a great loss and sadness. In the best case, those left behind can be comforted that they will see their loved one again when they meet in heaven with their Lord and Savior. But even then, it just doesn't feel right. We were created as eternal beings. Interruption of our life, even if it is just in this world, still seems wrong.
And to think of how a mother must feel to see her son, still young, cut off by an addiction that crippled the fruitfulness of much of his life. The regret, the guilt, the what-if's, if-only's. I think of how much potential and hope I have for my own son and I imagine the deep, gut-wrenching sadness of seeing him make the wrong decisions. Watching him walk a path that will only lead to destruction.
What a wake-up call to what really matters in this life. I'm outside trimming rose bushes, contemplating these things and I pray that God would protect my kids from life-stealing sins. And then I thought what I really need to pray for is just that they would know their needfulness of God. That they would see their sin when they are small and learn to go to God for forgiveness and restoration. That God would clothe them in wisdom and strengthen them in making choices that please Him. And I pray that God would continually focus me on the things that really matter. The heart issues that lie below the surface. Not just the behaviors that annoy or hurt on the outside.
As ugly and sad as it is, I'm thankful for death. I'm thankful for the reminder that this life is just a blink of the eye. We are but grass that withers away and the things that matter are the eternal ones... loving God with all our heart, soul and strength.
Lord, help me store up treasures that do not fade: the thoughts, attitudes and actions that honor You.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Huge Thanks for Little Gifts
All I can say is that you all are praying out there. Today was SO much better than the first few days of the week. I really could see the gifts of God today in so many ways.
We had a great time with friends at the beach and I got to see Z really playing with his friend and handling little interactions of sharing and getting into each other's projects. And then, the highlight of the morning was when I looked up to see him coming up out of the water, his little face streaming with water and a look of surprise on his face. I started toward him, thinking he had fallen, waiting for him to start crying, and then he burst into a triumphant smile! I heard him tell his friend, "That's a duck dive!" Oh, man! I was so proud of him! He NEVER puts his face in the water! And to see him do it on his own just for fun was spectacular!
This afternoon at the park, we found some chalk. Z wrote his entire name on the sidewalk. Another first! He has never written his whole name anywhere! He has shown a lot more interest in writing and drawing lately, which is so encouraging. He is showing more control of his hold on the pen and wanting to draw things more clearly. He has a journal he has been filling with pictures with squiggles at the bottom; he told us he is writing a book!
What a great day!
We had a great time with friends at the beach and I got to see Z really playing with his friend and handling little interactions of sharing and getting into each other's projects. And then, the highlight of the morning was when I looked up to see him coming up out of the water, his little face streaming with water and a look of surprise on his face. I started toward him, thinking he had fallen, waiting for him to start crying, and then he burst into a triumphant smile! I heard him tell his friend, "That's a duck dive!" Oh, man! I was so proud of him! He NEVER puts his face in the water! And to see him do it on his own just for fun was spectacular!
This afternoon at the park, we found some chalk. Z wrote his entire name on the sidewalk. Another first! He has never written his whole name anywhere! He has shown a lot more interest in writing and drawing lately, which is so encouraging. He is showing more control of his hold on the pen and wanting to draw things more clearly. He has a journal he has been filling with pictures with squiggles at the bottom; he told us he is writing a book!
What a great day!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
On the Edge
I have felt on the edge of so many things lately. On the edge of frustration, losing my patience, anger, sadness, tears, harsh words, headaches. And also on the edge of joy streaming down my cheeks in tears, gratefulness, revelation, understanding. It seems that every time God has adjusted my perspective again to the right things and I'm able to focus on the gifts and joy in my life, a few hard moments or a rough couple nights of sleep take it all away again.
After a busy weekend and time with lots of great friends, I woke up on Monday morning stripped. And if I felt tired, then it's reasonable to assume the kids would be tired too. Needless to say, Z has been more difficult the past few days. And I have been weak and exhausted. Not a good combination. The battles in the moment are hard - keeping calm while he spews angry words and he's coming unhinged and it's all I can do to think clearly about what my next step should be. But it's usually after the battle that I break down. He'll be back to playing, having done his time and offered his apology. And I'm washing dishes in the kitchen, hiding my sobbing, screwed up face, trying to keep my shoulders from shaking.
I feel angry and sad and insufficient. Lies circle in my head, like cawing crows, saying that I can't do this any more, and, if I could just get away...
And the funny thing is that the chapter I read this weekend from One Thousand Gifts was about needing to daily go to God for sustenance. To daily focus on the beauty and gifts He has given. Just like the manna had to be collected daily in the desert lest we forget our dependence on God. And the most important thing is to find the manna- the little miracles of yumminess in a barren, desolate place- among the every day. To not need to get away or be alone to see the beauty. Up to this point, my list making has been on Sundays when I have time to myself to reflect. It's not enough. It fills the gas tank but there is a hole in my tank and the joy is all gone by Monday morning.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I'll start a new day finding the gifts God sends me. And I'll leave you with the last few I wrote down (some of which aren't from Sunday. Smile.)
73. Son's crooked mouth and half-closed eye when he's pondering something
75. Harper's muppet hair when she wakes up in the morning
76. cotton ball clouds
77. Silence when the kids finally do go to sleep.
After a busy weekend and time with lots of great friends, I woke up on Monday morning stripped. And if I felt tired, then it's reasonable to assume the kids would be tired too. Needless to say, Z has been more difficult the past few days. And I have been weak and exhausted. Not a good combination. The battles in the moment are hard - keeping calm while he spews angry words and he's coming unhinged and it's all I can do to think clearly about what my next step should be. But it's usually after the battle that I break down. He'll be back to playing, having done his time and offered his apology. And I'm washing dishes in the kitchen, hiding my sobbing, screwed up face, trying to keep my shoulders from shaking.
I feel angry and sad and insufficient. Lies circle in my head, like cawing crows, saying that I can't do this any more, and, if I could just get away...
And the funny thing is that the chapter I read this weekend from One Thousand Gifts was about needing to daily go to God for sustenance. To daily focus on the beauty and gifts He has given. Just like the manna had to be collected daily in the desert lest we forget our dependence on God. And the most important thing is to find the manna- the little miracles of yumminess in a barren, desolate place- among the every day. To not need to get away or be alone to see the beauty. Up to this point, my list making has been on Sundays when I have time to myself to reflect. It's not enough. It fills the gas tank but there is a hole in my tank and the joy is all gone by Monday morning.
So, tomorrow is a new day. I'll start a new day finding the gifts God sends me. And I'll leave you with the last few I wrote down (some of which aren't from Sunday. Smile.)
73. Son's crooked mouth and half-closed eye when he's pondering something
75. Harper's muppet hair when she wakes up in the morning
76. cotton ball clouds
77. Silence when the kids finally do go to sleep.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Not A Mess
Felt overwhelmed this morning by a messy house. Striving to see blessing instead of messing. If I had no children my house would be very clean, but how much I would be missing!
"Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests." Proverbs 14:4
Not marker all over the table (you can't quite see it in the picture).
Budding artists. Refining fine motor skills.
Not sticky fingerprints.
Curious, capable fingers exploring for more art supplies.
Not furniture scraped across the floor to all the wrong places.
An airship flying to Africa.
Not books piled in commandeered laundry basket.
Trip to the library. Love of reading.
Not interference with order and decor.
A boy so proud of his artwork he has to "decorate" his whole room with it.
Not those d*&n cardboard blocks spread all over the room.
Baby dragon, just hatched from his egg.
"Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests." Proverbs 14:4
Not marker all over the table (you can't quite see it in the picture).
Budding artists. Refining fine motor skills.
Not sticky fingerprints.
Curious, capable fingers exploring for more art supplies.
Not furniture scraped across the floor to all the wrong places.
An airship flying to Africa.
Not books piled in commandeered laundry basket.
Trip to the library. Love of reading.
Not interference with order and decor.
A boy so proud of his artwork he has to "decorate" his whole room with it.
Not those d*&n cardboard blocks spread all over the room.
Baby dragon, just hatched from his egg.
Friday, July 22, 2011
The Most Perfect Spot
(Photo taken by Harper)
I have to take time to write down this week. Z's teacher said that Wednesday at school was "the perfect day!" And those words have helped me see how so many things this week have been perfect.
On Monday at school, Z got amped up during the playground time and pushed a friend. Mrs D told him he couldn't do that or he wouldn't be able to play on the playground. Z apologized to his friend and then, on his own, ran to the tree and pushed it hard. Then he ran to the fence and pushed it. Back and forth, eight times, pushing that energy into "friends" that are okay to push. Then he was able to join back into the playing with more calm. Wow! I was so proud of him for finding a way to get the pressure and force he needed in a way that was acceptable and didn't hurt others. I was so happy to praise him for his great idea.
On Tuesday we went to Occupational Therapy as usual, but this week we didn't take Harper with us. The therapist thought we should try that again because Z has been very distractible these last few weeks and unable to focus on the "missions" she had for him. The difference was pretty significant. Z was calmer throughout the entire time and during the going in and leaving. I asked him as we were leaving if he had a good time even though Harper wasn't there. He said yes. I said it seemed like it was more calm and peaceful. Did he feel that too? And he said yes. Again, I'm so proud of him for sensing how he feels and things that make him overwhelmed versus more calm experiences.
On Wednesday Z had his "perfect day." He was happy and involved the entire day. They went to the music room (which they haven't done all summer and is usually a place of discomfort for him) and he participated in all of the movement games! This has never happened before. He usually gets agitated by the noise and movement and either lies down as far away from the other kids as he can or he'll sit in the hallway just outside the door (Mrs D's suggestion). Mrs. D said that he got a little wiggly at one point during a game but that she told him that the game required standing still at that moment. She gave him the option to go to the hallway if he felt overwhelmed but he chose to stay! And he was able to stay still and remain calm.
Then, during playground time he played with the other kids in sync with their games, playing WITH them, for the entire 20 minutes! This also hasn't happened before. Z will often need time to himself outdoors and he'll go find a quieter place to play by himself for a bit before rejoining other kids. And, finally, during playtime with water, a bin of water tipped over and drenched Z. He got a little upset and said to take his shirt off quick, quick! Mrs. D thought it was going to be a moment for him to lose it, but instead, once the shirt was off, he was fine! No one likes getting their shirt drenched, especially a child with tactile sensitivity! But he handled it! I'm so proud of him!
Praise God! I am so thankful for these signs of Z improving and maturing. And the best part is that he just seems happy! He seems more comfortable and not as anxious. When other kids are around he seems curious and friendly rather than on guard and withdrawn. Even today at a park with a bunch of kids, Auntie M commented on how happy he seemed. And he played pretty much the whole time WITH other kids instead of by himself.
So I'm writing down these reasons to be thankful. And I hope I've learned how children don't develop in a straight line and we could cycle around to another bad day/week, but I feel like I know what is possible for us. And I feel so much more hopeful that we are doing the right things to help Z.
I'm in the most perfect spot.*
*Also a very cute book by Diane Goode.
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