Quick Question and Answer

I just had a recent new visitor to the blog who had a question:

I have one huge question.. What do I do when my baby who is 9 weeks old won't stay awake after feeding.. He is bottle feeding and some days he is dead weight after a feeding no matter how hard I try. Any advice??

I assume you've tried all the standard methods to keep him awake like taking off his clothes, using cold water on their face or feet (I often use a wet wipe), putting them on the ground so they aren't as cozy, etc. Oh, have you tried a bath? That would probably keep him awake after a feeding. Usually this is the sort of thing you do to wake them up in order to eat. I don't think it is AS critical to keep them up after they eat. As long as it is not a regular habit (every feeding), I would try your best and then just put the baby to bed.

The goal is to establish a pattern of eat, awake, sleep. I'm sure there are lots of reasons behind that pattern (see BabyWise book), but an obvious one to me is that they are not becoming dependent on the bottle or breast to go to sleep. Going from awake (or drowsy) to sleep helps them learn how to put themselves to sleep. It also helps you make sure they get a full feeding and don't fall asleep in the middle of it.

So, first, if it is not a regular thing, as in every feeding or most feedings:
If you can see a pattern to when he is very sleepy, try to anticipate it and put him down to nap earlier before that feeding. Or even let him sleep a little longer before the next feeding (not more than 30 minutes). How long of a nap is he getting for each feeding? A good nap for this age could range from 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours (assuming about a 3 hour routine). So, one option is to put him down earlier if he isn't getting 2 hours nap already.

If it is more regular (pretty much every feeding) where he falls asleep right after the bottle:
Are you waking him up for most feedings? You may need to go to a 3 1/2 to 4 hour feeding routine. The caveat to that is that he is already sleeping at least 4-5 hours at night, that is, he is only getting one middle of the night feeding. So for us that means Harper eats at 10:30pm and then 4am and then 7am -wake up. If he's not doing that yet, then I would start pushing him to drop one of the middle of the night feedings (that means you have to let him cry and perhaps use the pacifier to get him to go back to sleep). If he sleeps longer stretches at night he may not be so sleepy during the day.

I would definitely push for the one middle-of-the-night feeding before switching to the 4 hour cycle. However, I do think it's okay to go to 4 hours before you drop that second middle-of-the-night feeding. I think the BabyWise book says that this transition to 4 hours and the sleeping all the way through the night happen around the same time. If you're having a hard time keeping the baby awake for pretty much every feeding, I would look to expanding the feeding increment to 3 1/2 to 4 hours. And make sure the baby is getting a solid 2 to 2 1/2 hours nap. Be sure to watch for those sleepy cues (the stare, the yawn, the fussing not immediately following eating) and get the baby to bed when he needs to go. If he gets more rest at each nap, he will probably be less likely to go straight to "dead weight" sleep after a feeding.

I hope this helps. Remember, the bottom line is that parent-directed feeding means you watch your baby and decide what your baby needs. Something I'm doing better with on baby number two is that I'm not as worried about anomalies in the routine because I know in the big picture they don't matter. So, do your best and then try to relax and enjoy!