Crying It Out 2009 - Night 1

Since Harper hit week 12 this Thursday I started thinking more about pushing her to drop that last middle of the night feeding. She has been waking up at 4am pretty consistently although a few times she went past to 5 or 6am. I mentioned that her eating has been a little funny lately; that is, she's not always super interested in eating and isn't eating as much (it appears) as she used to. So, I took these to be signs that she really doesn't need the middle of the night feeding (she is ready nutritionally - is that a word?) and she will be able to reset her clock to sleep through the night (she is ready developmentally).

Once I figured that Harper was ready, I asked myself if I was ready. Was I really at the point where I could stick to it? Was this a good time for me and the rest of the family? I kind of have a habit with routines and such that when things are tough, I decide it's a good time to tackle another change. I guess I think that if it's already hard, I might as well kill two birds with one stone and try to get through the next change. I did that with 6-month old Baby Z when we stopped using the pacifier, started solids and dropped the 11pm feeding pretty much all at the same time. Let me be clear: this is not something I recommend. Really, it's usually easier on everyone to work on one change at a time, but what can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment?

So, all of that to say that I decided this week- this long, hard, sick-kid, exhausting week- was the week to start letting Harper cry it out in the middle of the night.
Night 1 (last night):
I moved her bassinet to the kitchen, tucked to the side of the fridge (the farthest place I could put her from the bedrooms, hoping for some insulation with the appliances in the kitchen). I fed her a little later than usual (11:00pm instead of 10:30pm) just to give us a less time between that feeding and the 7am wake up. She barely ate her 7pm bottle, but I didn't let that deter me (although it almost did).

At 4am I heard cries. Oh wait, that is Z! I find him crying in front of the TV, having just turned it on. I convinced him it was the middle of the night and bodily carried him to his bed while he kicked and screamed. Got him down at 4:05/4:08am. I got back in bed and prayed that Harper wouldn't wake him up again when she got up. 4:15am: Harper starts to fuss. Then cry. Then silence. Then cry. Then CRY. Then fuss. Then silence. Then fuss. Then silence ...... This took 27 minutes (but who's counting?). Twenty seven difficult minutes in my life, which apparently had no effect on either my husband or my toddler. They both slept right through it. Twenty seven minutes was more time than it ever took Z, but Harper's crying was a lot less disturbing. As long as she settled down and was quiet at all, I knew she was really fine. I talked to myself and prayed the entire time, telling myself this was what Harper needed and what the rest of us needed. I thought about being a better Mom when I have more rest. I thought about the short-term pain being worth the long-term results. Finally, she went back to sleep and so did I.

Harper then woke up at 6am. I didn't have the heart or guts to force her to cry and wait until closer to 7am, so I fed her. I could have pushed her longer; she was hungry but not ravenous (lesson learned). Then I stretched her feeding and topped her off at 6:45am or so. By the way, my BabyWise Guru recommended just pushing her as long as I could and then feeding her and adjust her schedule accordingly, rather than prolonging a feeding. I would have done this instead except I have a hair appointment very carefully orchestrated for the PERFECT time between feedings which is now not at all the perfect time. Oops. Perhaps that was another reason to wait one more day on the crying it out. Oh well. We'll figure it out.

I'll update more later about how I adjusted the day based on the earlier start time - a common problem when working on dropping the middle of the night feeding. I'll also update more later on Days 2-n of Crying It Out 2009.

CONTINUED / 5pm:
I adjusted Harper's schedule as follows after the 6am wake-up. I pushed her to wait until 9:40am (it helped that I was dropping Z off at my Mom's so I couldn't cave in to feed her earlier since we were driving). Then, I kept her up as long as I could; she made it to 11am. Then, I woke her up at 12:45pm, because that was what worked with my hair appointment (although she would have made it to 1pm). Then, I put her to bed at 2pm (kind of her usual) and woke her up at 4:30pm (oops, I slept too long). Well, you get the picture. Basically, adjust the schedule by 15 minute increments, at least. Or, if they'll sleep longer, jump to 30 minute increments until you're back on track.