Skilled in Discourse

Besides growing a third arm and eyes in the back of your head, learning how to have a conversation in 60-90 second intervals is a skill every Mom must learn. As much as you want to focus on your spouse or friend, as much as you swore you wouldn't be one of those woman who couldn't have a normal conversation after having kids, it is just not possible to have an uninterrupted conversation when you have kid(s) around. As soon as I realized this reality, and started to work with it instead of against it, I have started to develop conversational skills of which any Elizabethan courtier would be proud.

The key is learning how to compartmentalize the brain, much like a super-secret, undercover CIA agent would (with a kick-ass wig like Sydney Bristow). On one side, you have the child-interactive brain making statements like, "Yah, there's a bird!" and "No, don't eat the sand." Then, the other part of your brain picks up where you left off with "I know, sometimes I feel like my husband just doesn't understand....etc," or "I'm sorry to hear about your cousin....what is she going to do now?" It's easier to do this sort of thing with other Moms, who have learned the same skills and hardly even notice the breaks in discussion. The friends without kids may be a little phased, even disrupted, by this sort of thing. You must prove that you can hear them and respond while wiping spit up from the crevices in the car seat. At first it will be awkward, but over time, they will learn this new rhythm and start to follow along.

Adaptation, growth, transformation. I will embrace the lessons of motherhood. However, as good as I get at this new pattern of conversation, I think I will always prefer a cup of coffee with a friend without the adorable little discussion-buster.