How To Survive Being A Mom

I've recently had some tough days where I wondered (again) why I wanted to be a Mom. Of course, down inside (sometimes deep, deep), I don't regret even a second of having Baby Z. However, there are moments where I fantasize about "the gypsies taking him away," as a friend of mine says. So, I've refocused a little bit on tools and strategies that make being a Mom a little easier.

You'll read all kinds of tips like that for new Moms, since the newborn phase is so engrossing. As Baby Z has gotten older and we've become more mobile and able to do more things (in and out of the house), I haven't noticed as much that feeling that a little person is consuming me limb by limb. Beware, however: it lurks still. Unfortunately, I don't recognize it until some tragedy like spilt milk (excuse the cliche') throws me over the edge. After some time to think, reading a few articles, and reflecting back to what I did when the baby literally was sucking the energy right out of me, I've come to share a few ideas.

1. Find a support system: this is everyone from the friend you can REALLY be yourself with to the people who can babysit (including professionals- see post Land of the Free).
-- a. Find some Mom friends if you don't have them already. You have to have someone to talk to about the consistency of your child's poop, nap time problems, feeling like a milk-machine. It feels so good to find someone in the same stage who GETS IT. I recommend not trying to make your spouse fill this role.
-- b. Keep your non-Mom friends. Not only are they the ones who knew you pre-baby, they are probably not obsessed with baby. You won't talk to them about spit up and nap times and this is a very good thing!

2. Make time for yourself. Time by yourself. This does not include time you are pseudo-alone in the house while the kiddo sleeps. This also does not include time with your spouse, such as a date time, as important as that is (see number 3). Making time for yourself may be something as simple as a trip to the grocery store by yourself. This weekend, I went to the grocery store one day (30 minutes) and the hardware store another day (30 minutes) by myself. At the time I didn't think much of it, but I realized after that it REALLY helped! Who would have thought even 30 minutes could make a difference, but it did for me!

3. Don't forget to spend time with your spouse. Take the time you have; turn off the TV and talk for 10 minutes. Go on dates (even if it's only Taco Bell and only for an hour). Make time for sex. (I would have died if my 25-year-old self saw my future self writing that!)

4. Have a strategy. Whatever stage you are in, you need a plan. Now, I know there are people out there who really don't need a plan. Living each day as it comes is perfectly fine for them. I am not that person. And, I'm guessing that a good percentage of the female population is not that person. (If you are that person, skip to number 5.) For those of us who like a plan, think through where you are and where you want to be. Consult books, friends, the internet. Cobble together a plan that works for you and stick to it (at least for a week or so and then perhaps you'll find the plan doesn't work and you adjust the plan). Having a strategy is a saving grace to me. From how to establish a routine for my infant to handling tantrums, without a plan I am lost (and stressed and unhappy).

5. Don't forget the reason for it all. For me, this reason is to glorify God in everything I do. Does this mean I'm singing praise songs while picking up Baby Z's poo off the floor? (Yes, another diaper incident, people.) Probably not, but it does mean I'm praying for patience and calm to not get upset about it. Glorifying God also means I talk to Him (pray) and read His Word. Remembering the big picture of eternity makes me (sometimes) less likely to freak out about the troubles of day to day.