How can nine days seem so far away? This week stretches out in front of me like an ocean with no land in sight. I'm sure most women feel this way at the end. It feels like my limbs are filled with sand. I wake up feeling weary rather than rested. Even getting up to get Z more milk or answer the phone seems like a major effort. Usually eating helps me feel better but I don't feel hungry, and when I do eat, the tiniest portion fills me up. And then there are the times when baby girl decides to knee me in the stomach or intestines. I thought I was past the nauseous trimester.
So, I'm taking today as a sick day. No lists, no chores, no cleaning up. Lots of television for Z. Maybe we'll drive to the park, because walking a block seems like a lot. I'm trying really hard not to project the future and imagine our days once baby comes. Even though having a newborn is hard, at least you're on the road to healing and recovery. It will get better. Just like these nine days will pass.
Thanks for listening to me complain. It feels better to admit I feel like crap so I can give myself a break today.
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