Okay, really? This Thursday? I can't believe it. I can, but I can't. On one hand I'm thinking just about the surgery and getting through that. And then I think about the epic exhaustion that comes with a new baby. And then I remember I get to see my baby girl this week. I get to hold her and touch her little head and see her face. I get to see John hold his daughter and melt. I get to see Z get excited about the new baby and be proud of being a big brother (although I'm not holding my breath for this moment to come the first time they meet).
There are so many wonderful things to look forward to but it's hard to see past the pain I know is coming (physical, emotional, mental). I have tomorrow to spend with Z and enjoy my last moments with just him. I'm going to try to focus on that and not let myself get lost in thinking through Thursday and the few days after that. And then Wednesday is very busy with activities (fun ones) so that will help keep me from brooding or worrying. And maybe it will wear me out enough I'll be able to sleep on Wednesday night.
And then comes 5:30am Thursday morning. Reporting for duty.
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