48 hours since giving up the Pacifier.
It's been a long day.
Baby Z had his 6-month checkup today, including the nefarious vaccinations. The last time he got them he didn't seem that affected, so I thought today would go pretty smoothly. He was quite the little trooper after getting the shots, and slept well after that, but the rest of the day, he's been really fussy and hasn't slept well at all. I have to admit I gave in and gave him the pacifier for a little bit. It seemed to comfort him but then he spit it out, so I didn't put it back in. It wasn't really making a difference as far as getting him to sleep. I'm going to choose to interpret that as a sign we are knocking the addiction.
So, we fell off the wagon, but we are back on now. I'm considering a Pacifier Policy that allows for its use only in extreme emergencies, such as screaming in public when I can't make a quick exit, sleeping at other people's houses, etc. Such a policy would certainly have a clause for crankiness due to illness or vaccinations.
Anyway, since Baby Z hardly got any sleep this afternoon and evening, I'm considering not waking him up at 11pm. Of course, I don't have the Pacifier to help him through the dropped feeding, but I'm thinking I'll have to let him cry either way- 1. when putting him down after 11pm feeding, or 2. when he wakes up expecting the 11pm feeding. I'm leaning towards the all or nothing philosopy-- might as well suck it up and get it all over with.
It's 10:31pm. I have 29 minutes to decide.
Showing posts with label Application. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Application. Show all posts
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Swirling Results II
Results Phase Two (Giving up Pacifier Addiction during daytime naps):
It's been over 24 hours since we gave up the Pacifier. That's three daytime naps down, not sure how many to go. As I reported previously, the morning nap went okay. He slept straight through until just before Noon (when he eats). The second nap went okay at first and then that dang-nabbit 45 minute intruder hit. I listened to Baby Z cry really hard (the one that hits a high-pitched note at the end and eventually starts to sound hoarse) for about 20 minutes before I gave in. I fed him 15 minutes early and hoped the next nap would be better. The 6pm nap went well going down, but the same thing happened after 45 minutes. (Of course this nap is now his "cat nap," so I'm telling myself it's okay.) I fed him and he gulped down the bottle. So, he ended up in bed at about 8pm, which is my ultimate goal for his bedtime. I guess we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'm very thankful that he has been going to sleep pretty easily, and I think getting rid of the pacifier will help him really work through the 45 minute intruders so they don't happen all the time anymore.
I have to say I sound extremely optimistic at the end of a long tiring day.
It's been over 24 hours since we gave up the Pacifier. That's three daytime naps down, not sure how many to go. As I reported previously, the morning nap went okay. He slept straight through until just before Noon (when he eats). The second nap went okay at first and then that dang-nabbit 45 minute intruder hit. I listened to Baby Z cry really hard (the one that hits a high-pitched note at the end and eventually starts to sound hoarse) for about 20 minutes before I gave in. I fed him 15 minutes early and hoped the next nap would be better. The 6pm nap went well going down, but the same thing happened after 45 minutes. (Of course this nap is now his "cat nap," so I'm telling myself it's okay.) I fed him and he gulped down the bottle. So, he ended up in bed at about 8pm, which is my ultimate goal for his bedtime. I guess we'll see how it goes tomorrow. I'm very thankful that he has been going to sleep pretty easily, and I think getting rid of the pacifier will help him really work through the 45 minute intruders so they don't happen all the time anymore.
I have to say I sound extremely optimistic at the end of a long tiring day.
Swirling Results
Now for the results....to Swirling Problems
Results Phase One (Working on the Evening Nap and Sleeping Through the Night):
I kept Baby Z up until 6:30pm and then put him down for the evening nap. Just when I was wondering if "cat nap" meant 45 minutes or an hour, Baby Z woke up (at 45 minutes). I decided to term this 45-minute intruder the cat nap and claim a small victory. After feeding and a little awake time, I put Baby Z to bed at 8:30pm. Move ahead to Phase One, Part 2.
Results Phase One, Part 2 (Recovering from Relapse in Pacifier Addiction):
I put Baby Z to bed at 8:30pm without the pacifier. Whereas in the past, I could sometimes get away with this without much crying, Baby Z seemed to detect that I had admitted him to Rehab. He cried for 15 minutes pretty persistently (the I'm-not-happy-about-this cry) and then another 5 minutes of intermittent (the Wait-No-I'm-not-really-sleeping-yet cry).
I then considered jumping to Phase 3 (dropping the 11pm feeding), just so I wouldn't have to wake him up and put him to sleep again without the Pacifier. I decided I couldn't do it, though, while pursuing Phase One, Part 2, which might involve listening to him cry at night. If I have the tiniest doubt that he could be hungry, I tend to cave in during the wee hours of the morning.
So, Baby Z went back to bed after the 11pm feeding, and I curled up in the fetal position with my head in John's lap until Baby Z stopped crying (about 15 minutes again). After that, I went to bed with earplugs near at hand... and....
I woke up this morning at 7:15am! I didn't hear a peep all night!!! This has renewed my resolve and encouraged me to no end! One day at a time...Pacifier Free.
Preliminary Results Phase Two (Giving up Pacifier Addiction during daytime naps):
When I was writing my Solutions yesterday, I thought I would give myself a week to get used to Night-time sans Pacifier. This morning, however, I decided to try putting Baby Z down without it. I thought..."Okay, I'll give myself 5 minutes just to see what happens..." and then before I had even looked at the clock to see how much time had passed, he was asleep! But when I usually breakdown is when he wakes up in the middle of his nap. I know that when I give it to him I am reinforcing the very problem we are trying to deal with: Baby Z has learned to associate the pacifier with sleep, especially getting back to sleep. Isn't it during the difficult times that the pull of addiction becomes stronger? Will I be able to do it?
Maybe I should move all the pacifiers to the garage.
And hide the garage door opener.
To be continued...
Results Phase One (Working on the Evening Nap and Sleeping Through the Night):
I kept Baby Z up until 6:30pm and then put him down for the evening nap. Just when I was wondering if "cat nap" meant 45 minutes or an hour, Baby Z woke up (at 45 minutes). I decided to term this 45-minute intruder the cat nap and claim a small victory. After feeding and a little awake time, I put Baby Z to bed at 8:30pm. Move ahead to Phase One, Part 2.
Results Phase One, Part 2 (Recovering from Relapse in Pacifier Addiction):
I put Baby Z to bed at 8:30pm without the pacifier. Whereas in the past, I could sometimes get away with this without much crying, Baby Z seemed to detect that I had admitted him to Rehab. He cried for 15 minutes pretty persistently (the I'm-not-happy-about-this cry) and then another 5 minutes of intermittent (the Wait-No-I'm-not-really-sleeping-yet cry).
I then considered jumping to Phase 3 (dropping the 11pm feeding), just so I wouldn't have to wake him up and put him to sleep again without the Pacifier. I decided I couldn't do it, though, while pursuing Phase One, Part 2, which might involve listening to him cry at night. If I have the tiniest doubt that he could be hungry, I tend to cave in during the wee hours of the morning.
So, Baby Z went back to bed after the 11pm feeding, and I curled up in the fetal position with my head in John's lap until Baby Z stopped crying (about 15 minutes again). After that, I went to bed with earplugs near at hand... and....
I woke up this morning at 7:15am! I didn't hear a peep all night!!! This has renewed my resolve and encouraged me to no end! One day at a time...Pacifier Free.
Preliminary Results Phase Two (Giving up Pacifier Addiction during daytime naps):
When I was writing my Solutions yesterday, I thought I would give myself a week to get used to Night-time sans Pacifier. This morning, however, I decided to try putting Baby Z down without it. I thought..."Okay, I'll give myself 5 minutes just to see what happens..." and then before I had even looked at the clock to see how much time had passed, he was asleep! But when I usually breakdown is when he wakes up in the middle of his nap. I know that when I give it to him I am reinforcing the very problem we are trying to deal with: Baby Z has learned to associate the pacifier with sleep, especially getting back to sleep. Isn't it during the difficult times that the pull of addiction becomes stronger? Will I be able to do it?
Maybe I should move all the pacifiers to the garage.
And hide the garage door opener.
To be continued...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Swirling Problems
I'm having one of those days that made me want to blog to keep my head from imploding. You know the day- when all of the issues and questions about the routine build up like warm and cold air fronts that combine into the perfect little tornado in your mind?
So here they are, in no particular order:
a. baby not sleeping well at night again
b. baby not sleeping well during evening nap (6-8pm)
c. baby starting solids
d. baby still addicted to pacifier
e. Mommy still addicted to pacifier
f. baby still eating at 11pm to keep up Mom's milk supply
I would like to end a, b, d, e and f.
I think solving b may help a.
Have to solve e before we can solve d.
Fixing e and d will also help a.
Will c help b or a?
Will getting rid of f while doing c cause my milk supply to diminish?
More important to solve a and b than others.
Okay.
Solution Phase One: start working on a and b.
I read in Baby Wise II about a 6 month old who was waking up suddenly in the middle of the night. One suggestion was that the evening nap may be too long, so the baby wasn't as tired at night. It also talks about 6 month-old's transitioning to a "cat nap" in the evening rather than the full 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap. This is kind of what Baby Z has been doing already. I tried to jump directly to cutting out the nap and it was very difficult, so I went back to the 2 hour nap. This cat nap could be the perfect in between step.
Solution Phase One, part 2: work on a by beginning to work on d and e.
I will recommit after a relapse in Addiction to the Pacifier. No giving the pacifier after the 8pm feeding through to the morning. I will remove the pacifier from the room and put it in the noisy cabinet in my kitchen, in a ziploc, behind the chips, under a can of beans.
Solution Phase Two: continue working on d and e.
I will continue our walk through the 10 steps of Pacifier Addiction until it is eradicated completely. There is no such thing as just one suck for an Addict.
Solution Phase Three: will drop f.
Once we've gotten through the withdrawal of Phase Two, I'll start working on dropping the 11pm feeding. Regarding the milk supply, I'll keep an eye on it and if it starts to diminish, I'll do some pumping at night before I go to bed.
If you understood any of the above, then all I can say is: sometimes a tornado sweeps you up, spins you around, and then just puts you right back down somewhere else. I hope you landed on your feet, not your head.
So here they are, in no particular order:
a. baby not sleeping well at night again
b. baby not sleeping well during evening nap (6-8pm)
c. baby starting solids
d. baby still addicted to pacifier
e. Mommy still addicted to pacifier
f. baby still eating at 11pm to keep up Mom's milk supply
I would like to end a, b, d, e and f.
I think solving b may help a.
Have to solve e before we can solve d.
Fixing e and d will also help a.
Will c help b or a?
Will getting rid of f while doing c cause my milk supply to diminish?
More important to solve a and b than others.
Okay.
Solution Phase One: start working on a and b.
I read in Baby Wise II about a 6 month old who was waking up suddenly in the middle of the night. One suggestion was that the evening nap may be too long, so the baby wasn't as tired at night. It also talks about 6 month-old's transitioning to a "cat nap" in the evening rather than the full 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap. This is kind of what Baby Z has been doing already. I tried to jump directly to cutting out the nap and it was very difficult, so I went back to the 2 hour nap. This cat nap could be the perfect in between step.
Solution Phase One, part 2: work on a by beginning to work on d and e.
I will recommit after a relapse in Addiction to the Pacifier. No giving the pacifier after the 8pm feeding through to the morning. I will remove the pacifier from the room and put it in the noisy cabinet in my kitchen, in a ziploc, behind the chips, under a can of beans.
Solution Phase Two: continue working on d and e.
I will continue our walk through the 10 steps of Pacifier Addiction until it is eradicated completely. There is no such thing as just one suck for an Addict.
Solution Phase Three: will drop f.
Once we've gotten through the withdrawal of Phase Two, I'll start working on dropping the 11pm feeding. Regarding the milk supply, I'll keep an eye on it and if it starts to diminish, I'll do some pumping at night before I go to bed.
If you understood any of the above, then all I can say is: sometimes a tornado sweeps you up, spins you around, and then just puts you right back down somewhere else. I hope you landed on your feet, not your head.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Catch-22
I had a great weekend with Baby Z and John. We packed it full of activities (which I was mildly anxious about) and Baby Z handled it with zeal and poise (read: no breakdowns). On Sunday afternoon, we went to a Children’s Arts Fair and got a glimpse of the “with Kids” side of life. Although Baby Z was too young to make an endangered species out of pebbles, we all enjoyed watching all the squeals and sunburns.
We sat down for lunch on an outdoor patio with a spectacular view of the ocean. While John was walking Baby Z around to distract him from the fact he wasn’t getting a nap just yet, I breathed in the ocean air and warm breeze and vowed that I would simply enjoy this moment and not get upset later when the repercussions hit.
I’m talking about the Catch-22 I’ve been experiencing every since Baby Z joined our little household. It goes something like this:
1. Mommy is going crazy being in house all the time.
2. Mommy decides to go out despite looming dread that things will go wrong with Baby Z.
3. Baby Z either: a) tries out his new high-pitched scream in a crowded restaurant, or b) behaves like an angel to settle Mom into a relieved feeling of accomplishment until- SLAM- the day-after nap apocalypse begins.
4. Mommy vows to never go out again.
This pattern repeats itself just often enough to make me think hard about every outing lasting longer than an hour. It is very easy to sink into Pavlovian submission and confine myself to the house until Baby Z is 18. I tell myself I can’t live life by what might happen. I think to myself: I feel strong enough (today) to handle the repercussions (of tomorrow). But when the fallout occurs, I curse myself for trying to have coffee with the girls or letting John talk me into that fair (of course it’s all his fault!).
If I dig deep into the root of my fear, it comes down to mostly my own and other people’s opinions of me. Breakdowns in public make me hyper-conscious of the opinions of others. The curious well-meaning looks (Is that a baby?) look to me like probing stares of judgment (What kind of Mom is she?). As much as I intellectually understand that being a good Mom does not mean your baby never cries, I can’t seem to emotionally convince myself of that. Whether the crying occurs in public or at home during his afternoon nap, I feel his cries like daggers shredding my confidence and peace of mind. Am I really doing the right thing? Is he going to recover from this? Have I ruined his napping pattern forever?
Thankfully, the napping catastrophes really never last more than a day or two. Both Baby Z and I always do get through it (not to mention my longsuffering husband). And that magical amnesia of parenting always does kick in enough to make me willing to venture out again. If I could just bottle that assured confidence after weathering a two-day storm and make it into a little life vest for the next baby hurricane that comes my way.
We sat down for lunch on an outdoor patio with a spectacular view of the ocean. While John was walking Baby Z around to distract him from the fact he wasn’t getting a nap just yet, I breathed in the ocean air and warm breeze and vowed that I would simply enjoy this moment and not get upset later when the repercussions hit.
I’m talking about the Catch-22 I’ve been experiencing every since Baby Z joined our little household. It goes something like this:
1. Mommy is going crazy being in house all the time.
2. Mommy decides to go out despite looming dread that things will go wrong with Baby Z.
3. Baby Z either: a) tries out his new high-pitched scream in a crowded restaurant, or b) behaves like an angel to settle Mom into a relieved feeling of accomplishment until- SLAM- the day-after nap apocalypse begins.
4. Mommy vows to never go out again.
This pattern repeats itself just often enough to make me think hard about every outing lasting longer than an hour. It is very easy to sink into Pavlovian submission and confine myself to the house until Baby Z is 18. I tell myself I can’t live life by what might happen. I think to myself: I feel strong enough (today) to handle the repercussions (of tomorrow). But when the fallout occurs, I curse myself for trying to have coffee with the girls or letting John talk me into that fair (of course it’s all his fault!).
If I dig deep into the root of my fear, it comes down to mostly my own and other people’s opinions of me. Breakdowns in public make me hyper-conscious of the opinions of others. The curious well-meaning looks (Is that a baby?) look to me like probing stares of judgment (What kind of Mom is she?). As much as I intellectually understand that being a good Mom does not mean your baby never cries, I can’t seem to emotionally convince myself of that. Whether the crying occurs in public or at home during his afternoon nap, I feel his cries like daggers shredding my confidence and peace of mind. Am I really doing the right thing? Is he going to recover from this? Have I ruined his napping pattern forever?
Thankfully, the napping catastrophes really never last more than a day or two. Both Baby Z and I always do get through it (not to mention my longsuffering husband). And that magical amnesia of parenting always does kick in enough to make me willing to venture out again. If I could just bottle that assured confidence after weathering a two-day storm and make it into a little life vest for the next baby hurricane that comes my way.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Addicted
Uh oh. I unwittingly hooked Baby Z on baby crack:
The Pacifier.
Sigh. It was like magic at first-- one suck on it and he was instantly droopy-eyed and quiet. It really worked! But then…
Baby Z started waking up in the middle of the night a lot more often. Usually (since we dropped the middle of the night feeding) he would wake up maybe once or twice and fuss a little then go back to sleep. Before I knew it, I was waking up every hour all night long, groping my way to his room to give him his pacifier. At first I rationalized that I could do it as often as needed as long as I wasn’t feeding him in the middle of the night. Surely a minute or two every hour wasn’t that disruptive to my sleep, right? (My husband would certainly disagree with his crabby wife on that one.)
After consulting the Baby Wise book (problem solving chapter at the back), and a friend at church, I addressed it as a hunger problem first. So, I supplemented some formula at his 8pm feeding (a bottle feeding Dad does while I pump). The amount I was pumping at 8pm had been dwindling, and he was usually more fussy than usual after the 8pm feeding, so I think he just wasn't getting enough. Once we added the formula for that feeding, we had a more content baby at that time of day and he did sleep a little better- waking up only a couple of times through the night. However, after a few days, he was still waking up from 3 to 5 times a night. Grr. As usual, I had to get to a breaking point of frustration before I was willing to really address the problem.
Following my hunch, I did some research online about pacifiers and waking up at night. Sure enough, I had been reinforcing Baby Z’s association of sleep with the pacifier. I bit the bullet and didn't give it to him at his bedtime at night (haven't pulled back on its use during naptimes yet). The first night he woke up twice and cried for 10-15 minutes (brutal!), but then the next night he slept completely through the night. I was so relieved and much happier in the morning, after a good night's sleep. It’s been that way for over a week now, and I am so thankful for the real sleep.
My life lesson on this subject is the realization that it has sometimes been challenging for me to recognize a problem when either the cause or solution is something I don't want to face. For example, the pacifier problem- my fault for starting it (hard to admit) and the solution- letting him cry at night (very hard to face). It is very humbling to think how blinded I can be by my own issues. This is just the beginning of God using Baby Z to humble me and cause me to depend on God.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,” Philippians 1:9-10
The Pacifier.
Sigh. It was like magic at first-- one suck on it and he was instantly droopy-eyed and quiet. It really worked! But then…
Baby Z started waking up in the middle of the night a lot more often. Usually (since we dropped the middle of the night feeding) he would wake up maybe once or twice and fuss a little then go back to sleep. Before I knew it, I was waking up every hour all night long, groping my way to his room to give him his pacifier. At first I rationalized that I could do it as often as needed as long as I wasn’t feeding him in the middle of the night. Surely a minute or two every hour wasn’t that disruptive to my sleep, right? (My husband would certainly disagree with his crabby wife on that one.)
After consulting the Baby Wise book (problem solving chapter at the back), and a friend at church, I addressed it as a hunger problem first. So, I supplemented some formula at his 8pm feeding (a bottle feeding Dad does while I pump). The amount I was pumping at 8pm had been dwindling, and he was usually more fussy than usual after the 8pm feeding, so I think he just wasn't getting enough. Once we added the formula for that feeding, we had a more content baby at that time of day and he did sleep a little better- waking up only a couple of times through the night. However, after a few days, he was still waking up from 3 to 5 times a night. Grr. As usual, I had to get to a breaking point of frustration before I was willing to really address the problem.
Following my hunch, I did some research online about pacifiers and waking up at night. Sure enough, I had been reinforcing Baby Z’s association of sleep with the pacifier. I bit the bullet and didn't give it to him at his bedtime at night (haven't pulled back on its use during naptimes yet). The first night he woke up twice and cried for 10-15 minutes (brutal!), but then the next night he slept completely through the night. I was so relieved and much happier in the morning, after a good night's sleep. It’s been that way for over a week now, and I am so thankful for the real sleep.
My life lesson on this subject is the realization that it has sometimes been challenging for me to recognize a problem when either the cause or solution is something I don't want to face. For example, the pacifier problem- my fault for starting it (hard to admit) and the solution- letting him cry at night (very hard to face). It is very humbling to think how blinded I can be by my own issues. This is just the beginning of God using Baby Z to humble me and cause me to depend on God.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,” Philippians 1:9-10
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