Balance Beam or Tight Rope?

As with so many things in life, being a Mom is all about balance. Everything from breastfeeding to vaccinations is a balancing act between benefits and disadvantages. I've had an ongoing struggle with balance between going out and doing things with Baby Z and getting him solid nap time. There have been times I declined to do something because I was worried it would be too hard on Baby Z. Then, there have been times I pushed too hard to go out or stay out and Baby Z had a pretty tough time because of it.

Usually, if the outing affects only one nap time, then Baby Z handles it fine. He catches up some rest during the other nap and seems no worse for wear. Unfortunately, Sundays are one of the hardest days because almost always both of his naps are affected. So, we have been trying different scenarios with Baby Z on Sundays. I have tried over and over to get him to take his morning nap at church, with mostly no success (he did it twice!). The hard thing is that he really needs to cry for a good 10-15 minutes before he'll sleep, and at church, there really isn't a good place to let him do this. That is, there is no place where he can do it where I don't feel self-conscious and awkward. I know, I know, I should feel comfortable that no one is going to judge me at church of all places, and I should toughen up and not worry about what others think of me. However, me developing a thicker skin will be a life-long pursuit, not a near-term strategy for dealing with Baby Z on Sundays.

Since Baby Z's Sunday morning naps are usually spotty at best, I'm always faced with a dilemma on Sunday afternoons when John (and I) want to go do something fun and enjoy our afternoon. But then I'm always thinking how Baby Z will have another terrible nap and how is that going to affect Baby Z that evening and even for a few days after. It seems a good approach to assume the worst case scenario with how it will affect Baby Z and see if I want to do that activity bad enough to deal with the repercussions. Where I get into trouble is when I go to magic "what if" land where Baby Z miraculously shows no impact from a hectic schedule. I think about the few times he did nap when... rather than the majority of the time when he didn't. Then, when the repercussions hit, I'm upset at the situation and at the change in expectations.

This is part of learning in this new phase of my life. I remember struggling with balance in other phases, also, such as school (studying, friends, church). As Baby Z grows, I imagine he'll be a little more resilient, no matter what balance of choices we make. And perhaps I will too.