Potty Lifestyle Change

I've realized that it's not really about Potty School but a Potty Change in Lifestyle. Sure, the potty school kicked things off, but the day-to-day is the real test. After my last post, when Z had a good morning, the rest of the day was nothing but accidents. I continued to prompt and prod in the indirect ways the book states and Z continued to perfect the art of distraction until a panicked "I have to potty" announced already wet pants. For these accidents John got to share the load of the "Positive Practice," which amounts to dragging Z, crying and screaming, from various points in the house to the toilet and moving his hands to pull his pants down and up. Needless to say, this is not fun for anyone.

At the end of the day, with the prospect of church and a trip to John's parents' house the next day, John and I had a very tough heart to heart. I was emotionally drained from the day; I felt defeated and disappointed. I talked John out of throwing out the entire approach and we decided to just slow things down a little. We decided to skip church to work on the training at home in the morning and then go to his parents for lunch. Since we would have to drive in the car, we told him to go potty before we left and again when we got there. He had no problem going either time. It was nice to be with family, who all made a big deal about Z going in the potty. He was really excited and proud of himself.

The rest of the day we would just prompt him to go when it seemed about time. He told me he had to go before and after his nap, so that was encouraging that he was starting to feel it before it was too late. That night, when we got home, I gave him his diploma and told him he graduated from Potty School. He was pretty excited. Overall, we are all feeling more relaxed about it. I have adjusted my expectations to let him gradually work on his independence. He has already learned a ton- pulling his pants up and down, going in the potty, wiping the seat, flushing, washing his hands after. It is a lot to learn. I'm going to be mindful of allowing him to do as much as possible on his own and I think he will pretty naturally start to do the whole thing on his own. My fear that I will be telling him to go to the potty a year from now is really unrealistic. He is very independent and as soon as he gets it, I'm sure he'll want to do it

Once again, when teaching my child, I really learned more about myself than anything else. I have to be realistic and optimistic about what Z can do. I need to let go of my predetermined goals and work at Z's pace. I need to look at learning as a process, not a job to just get done. And, (oh, when will I really learn?) I will not allow a book to dictate what I call success for my child.