Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

If you embarass easy, watch out...

I heard all kinds of things about being pregnant and having a baby. You know those conversations women have that are almost like hazing for the younger women who aren't yet pregnant. Elephant ankles, stretchmarks from armpit to knee cap, p-p-pitosine, stitches and donut cushions for sitting. I listened to them all, wondering which ones I would also have to endure. But the one thing No One told me was how it all would change sex (whispered).

Okay, so "What to Expect When Expecting" does cover pretty well how sex may change when you're pregnant. But it kind of covers the gammit (which makes sense, b/c not everyone has the same experience)-- from those who get super-libido's to others who suddenly can't imagine tackling sex when they can't even tie their shoes. My pregnancy had ups and downs for my sex drive, and at the end, the belly was pretty unwieldy, but I thought, oh, it's just 9 months or so.

Then, after the baby came, I thought we would wait out the doctor-ordered abstinence and come out the other side rip-roaring ready to go. Apparently my body didn't get the memo on that one. I was somewhat horrified to recognize that I had absolutely ZERO interest in sex. At first, it was like the magazine articles said -- being up all night, lots of cuddling with baby, feeling overly needed already by the baby -- all these led to very little desire to get it on. But after a while, when some of those feelings diminished, I still didn't feel like a roll in the hay.

After some soul-searching and long talks with John, to make sure there weren't some emotional, relational factors in our lagging sex life, I finally talked to my OB/GYN doctor. She reassured me that a low libido was common while breastfeeding. Just not enough estrogen to get things going. (And, by the way, more noticeable laugh lines on the face also a result of that lacking estrogen.) She said it would get better when the breastfeeding slowed down, like when the baby started eating solids.

I would be lying if I didn't admit that I considered stopping breastfeeding just to get a sex life back. I know, I know. Logic took control again and I remembered that this is just a short period of time and I want to do what's best for Baby Z. But dang, the sacrifices just keep coming!

Anyway, I decided to write about this today, because I finally have some good news to report. Ms. Libido has decided to return. She mostly just comes to visit occasionally, but she has lives in the same city (as opposed to a different country), so it feels like she might be coming over more often. I am very happy about that. (And so is John.)