It's Just a Phase

Ask any Mom what difficulties they might be going through with their kid(s), and you're likely to hear the words, "It's just a phase." However, it seems to be a curse of motherhood that any previous phase seemed minor and temporary while the current phase seems excruciating and endless. People are generally encouraging and try to be helpful during your current struggle, by reminding you it won't last. I remember when I was trying to switch Baby Z from bottle to sippy cup and someone told me, "he won't be drinking from a bottle when he's 18." This is a well-meant remark intended to give perspective. In the moment, at least for me, it doesn't help in the slightest to think about when your 1-year-old will be 18. You already feel like the last year has been the longest of your life.

I'm currently in full swing in the toddler phase. Everything from the fierce independence to the clingy Mommy-neediness. Some days it feels like everything is a struggle. Changing diapers, washing hands, going inside when it's time, all of these things become battles in the War of Toddlerhood. Then, when I have the opportunity for a break from my precious little one, there is an emotional crying bout as I leave. This includes putting him to bed most nights.

Before I sound like I'm complaining (okay, so I really am), I wanted to write about what my good friend Ann calls the death plunge. You know how it goes. There are a few weeks of easy going and then some road bump or struggle pops up. This is especially true with babies. Things change so quickly that the "progress" of one week seems like eons ago when the following week "regression" takes hold. I remember that it felt like every time Baby Z took two steps forward he took one step back. Unfortunately, it's easy to get caught up in the one step back and project it ad infinitum (i.e., when your child is 18). Suddenly, the whole future seems bleak. You're convinced things will never change and you'll be (fill in blank) feeding your baby at 3am, struggling with nap times, pushing for sippy cups forever. This is the death plunge. The leap from the realm of reality and perspective to the doomsday despair of no hope.

All I can say is we have to remind ourselves, however we can, that it really is a phase. Things really do change. At this point, with Baby Z at 20 months, I should have lots of faith in this fact. However, I admit I've been doing a bit of the death plunge myself this week. So this is my pep talk to myself. Things will change. Enjoy the ride. If you're always waiting for the phase to be over, you miss the joy of the phase. And, really, there is joy in every phase. You just have to find your sense of humor. For example, last night, while I was trying to get dinner on the table (and I'm starving, mind you), Baby Z climbed onto the dining table chair and proceeded to unscrew the tops of the salt and pepper shakers and dump them ALL over. Last night, it felt like the world was going to end. This morning, I kind of wish I took a picture.

Farewell death plunge!

Top Ten Of Being Pregnant

I said in the past I would post sometime on what I like about being pregnant. This seems a good time to focus on the positive, so here it goes:

10. Pulling out a second wardrobe you haven't worn in years, or shopping for new clothes. Admittedly this gets old toward the end, but it's fun at first.
9. Using the pregnancy reason to get to the front of the line (once you're really showing). "Sorry, I really have to go; I'm pregnant, do you mind?" "Oh boy, I'm starving. I'm pregnant- do you mind if I jump to the front of this buffet line?"
8. Rubbing your belly (more in the third trimester time frame). It just feels good - to your belly and to your hand. There's so much comfort in round things.
7. Great hair (mine gets thicker and fuller) and nails (strong and grow like crazy).
6. Smooth skin. By far the best skin I ever have when I'm pregnant. And don't forget that "glow."
5. The occasional euphoria (at least I had it last time toward the end) and excitement of having a new person coming to your family.
4. Not having a period, including cramps, for 9 plus months.
3. Any of the special pampering afforded to a pregnant lady, from refilling your drink for you so you don't have to get up off the couch to taking care of chores or other kid(s) for you so you get a break.
2. Really enjoying food (after the first trimester).
1. Feeling like there is a special someone with you all the time that no one knows yet but you.

I would love to hear about others' top likes about being pregnant. I will refer back to this on the discouraging days.

Why Don't We Say One Year and Two Thirds?

Today is Baby Z's 20 month birthday. It might soon be time to drop the "Baby" in Baby Z, but I think I'll wait for another baby to usurp the title. Anyway, I just wanted to do a baby book entry on my little guy. I've been reminded recently how easy it is to forget all the little things Baby Z does. So, I'm including a few pictures of his favorite things.

Baby Book Record - July 19, 2008 - 20 months old

Development: Pulls toys behind him while walking. Runs. Can point to his nose, ears, head, hair, foot/shoe. Climbs onto and down from furniture. (The following picture is the result of a recent climb onto the dining room chair, which then slid away from the table. Baby Z was left suspended, like you would see in a cartoon, with his hands on the table and his feet on the chair. He fell before I could get to him.)

Pushes cars and makes a Bbbbrrr noise. Can climb up the chain and bar ladder at the park and goes down the slide by himself.

Feeds his stuffed animals food or his sippy cup. Follows commands like "Can you throw that away for Mommy?" and "Put that back, please."

Language: Mama, Dada, Hi, Bye, AwBoom (All done), Dodeedo (dogs or other animals), Uh oh, Wawer (Flower)

Sign Language: All done, more, thank you, please, no, bye, pray, change or diaper, help, bath, key, hot, brush teeth, fish (makes a soft "pa" sound opening and shutting his mouth like a fish), music, hat, trash can or throw away, wash or water, phone, apple (puts his hands to his mouth and makes a smacking sound- someone out there taught him that one, I think. Any aunties or uncles want to 'fess up?). Italics = Ezekiel sign language: consistent "natural" signs Ezekiel made up, not American sign language.

Favorite things to do:
Play in Dada's truck:


Push a 5-gallon bucket around the yard:

Throw things in the trash (after which he slaps his hands together, like "well, that was a job well done"). Look at his book of animal pictures. Play football with Dada- Dada hands off to Baby Z, Dada goes long, Baby Z throws it to him (he has surprisingly good aim). Turning on lights and fans.

Favorite foods: dried bananas, cheerios with bananas and milk, bread, raisins, raisins, raisins


Favorite books: "Little Engine That Could" (a shortened toddler version), "Where's My Teddy," "God Made Me Nose to Toes," "Brown Bear, Brown Bear."

Schedule: Up at 8am (although wakes up usually between 7:30 and 8am), two naps still (but fading fast), going to bed around 8:30pm. Has started to strongly protest when we put him to bed at night, but doesn't cry that long. He does this performance only for Mom and Dad, of course.

When Getting Off The Couch Is Too Much

Of course, after posting some inspiring words for myself yesterday, I proceeded to have one of the hardest days of early pregnancy so far. Besides feeling exhausted, I had bad stomach aches and pain all day. I think it was something I ate that turned especially nasty on the slow-moving intestines of a pregnant lady. (Sorry it that's too much information.)

I did a lot of laying on the couch and floor. I had Baby Z bring books to me on the couch. He would point to an object or animal and I would tell him what it was. I also put him in his crib early for his afternoon nap with some toys and he played pretty quietly for a while (a mighty work of God- let me tell you). Baby Z's getting early training now that I can't always come with him somewhere when he wants something. I want to tell him- just wait until your baby brother/sister gets here!

The apex of the day was when the tree-trimmer guy showed up and needed cash instead of check. The thought of packing up Baby Z into the car and simply going to a drive-thru ATM was too much. I called John sobbing. My amazing husband came home from work (with cash) and handled the tree-trimmer and I went to bed. He also took Baby Z outside and kept him occupied so that it would be quieter for me. I woke up feeling a little better and we made it through the rest of the day.

The stomach pain has passed so I'm back to being just tired and a little queasy. I guess the Lord showed me that it could be so much worse. So, I'm thankful for His "mighty works" in getting me through yesterday. And I'm thankful for the moderate fatigue and queasiness today. (Never thought I'd say that!)

Stay Away from Meribah

I haven't been posting much lately because all I would write is complaints. I don't have much of the excitement I had during the first pregnancy to help me through the tough first trimester.

I was reading Psalm 106 last night which talks about all the ways God helped the Israelites with "might acts" and yet the Israelites continued to grumble and complain. Here God has given our family an amazing gift and all I can focus on is that I feel tired and sick to my stomach. I want to focus on God and His strength during this time. I want to be grateful and dependent on Him. So, pardon me if I write a little less; and pray for me because it probably means I'm focusing on the wrong things.

As for practical matters, my faithful friend, OverThinker, reminded me that I should give myself a break while I'm not feeling well. I wasn't really thinking of this as a phase of physical sickness, like I had the flu or something. When I switched to thinking of it that way, I realized I could make easier dinners (or not make it at all), let the housework go if I need to, sit on the couch while Baby Z plays. It also helps remind me that this "sickness" will pass. And at least we get a beautiful new member of our family, Lord willing, out of this sickness. Much better than what the flu gives you.

I'll end with this from Psalm 106:
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord or fully declare his praise?"

Glow

I think my poor husband was looking for any sign that I might be feeling better. Living with a tired, nauseous woman cannot be that fun. As he kissed me goodbye Friday morning (I was already up and ready to go to work myself), he looked at me and smiled.

He said, "You're glowing!"

I said, "It's a new blush."

It is a good blush.

Not Feeling Great

Lately I've been pretty tired. My mind's a little hazy. I'm clumsy. I've unexpectedly crumbled at touching moments on television or in a book. I almost knocked over a woman at the mall with our stroller (yes, on purpose). Finally, I feel like throwing up most of the time.

Have you figured out my "sickness" yet?





Yep. We are excited to be expecting another kiddo. Right now, though, I mostly just feel like poop. Huge props to the ladies out there who are pregnant and not complaining too much. I'll try to follow your example.

If Every Day Could Be Like This

This morning Baby Z was a joy and pleasure. He was calm and played by himself most of the morning. The couple of times he got whiney, I reminded him to calm down and be patient and he did calm himself down. I only had to discipline him once for not obeying. I was able to do some chores and then still had time to sit down and play with him. It was fantastic.

If every day was like this... but then I guess I would be waiting for the day when he was completely perfect: didn't disobey once, cleaned up his own toys, changed his own diaper and so on. Smile. Anyway, I'm just thankful for this morning. It's nice to remember that not every day is really difficult. The last week or so has been pretty tough. I think it was little bit of reigning Baby Z in after a weekend away with grandparents. It has reminded me how important it is to be consistent with discipline. It really is better for all of us.

I'm going to go grab some down time while Baby Z is napping. My crabby, willful toddler may return this afternoon.

UPDATE AT 1:30 PM.
My regular toddler is back. While cleaning up in the kitchen I hear the sound of water pouring onto the floor. Pee? Oh, no! No. Just a little Sierra Mist fizzing onto the floor. Innocuous but oh, so sticky. Then, while I'm cleaning that up, I hear furtive, quiet movements in the kitchen. Sure enough, Baby Z is crouched in the corner with a spray bottle of cleaner. He has the good sense to say all done and hand it to me. Then, as a parting shot, he pulls the roll of paper towels I left dangling over the edge of the counter in my hurry and manages to get a nice flag of 3 or 4 paper towels before I can sever the connection. Welcome back, Baby Z.

Happy 4th of July

Happy Independence Day, everyone! It feels a little like every other day in which I think, what am I going to do with the little dude all day? How many hours can one spend at the park? Hm. Well, at least we are going to Grammy's this afternoon and will do some swimming. Then John and I get to go to a friend's BBQ sans Baby Z for a couple hours.

Thinking back to a year ago, I remember I was slightly panicked that Baby Z didn't get a good early afternoon nap because we were out and about visiting friends and celebrating. I also remember that I actually had a moment of realization that the special days, where the routine wasn't exactly the same, were the days I would remember in the long run. And so it is true!

Wishing you all a not-exactly-routine day of celebrating!

Booster Shot

I'm in full post-vacation blues mode. We had such a FANTASTIC weekend away. It was so relaxing and wonderful. We had really great food and our hotel room was perfect. We had two awesome mornings of surfing, when it was just me and John in the water - my perfect surfing dream come true. We had tons of time to talk without interruptions. Sigh. It was SOOOO nice.

It was refreshing and reassuring to be together all weekend and remember how much we enjoy each other. Once a kid comes along, sometimes you have to go on faith that you still like each other. It's not that you're not getting along; you're just getting along. You know what I mean? It's not easy to find time for a good conversation or even time focused on one another. Even when you have a date, sometimes you're both so tired, you're ready to veg out. Or, you spend the whole time catching up on day-to-day stuff and you don't talk about the other things that keep your relationship interesting- like ideas and dreams.

So, I'm extremely grateful for the time we had away together. A huge thank you to those who watched Baby Z and made it possible for us to go. It was a huge booster shot for our relationship. Here's to hoping it won't be another 10 years before we get to do it again. But if it is, we'll keep plugging away on faith and vitamins (dates) in the meantime.