I'm trying to catch up a little on Baby Z's baby book -- the first this's and special that's. I can't believe he is 7 months old now. He is getting so mobile; he rolls all over the floor now, trying to get into trouble.
Just as I'm amazed by the little dude's growth over the last 7 months, it is probably a good time to reflect on my own growth as well. I just read an article in Parenting magazine about noticing the Mommy moments, not just the baby firsts. Here are some of the ones they pointed out - from my perspective:
Realizing You're Actually Someone's Mother
For me, this came when I filled out the first form for Baby Z at the Doctor's office, just 4 days after he was born. I started filling in Patient's Name as myself, as I have done for all my adult years. Then, slowly, in the postpartum fog, I realized they were talking about that new little person. I filled that in, feeling the specialness of the moment. Then, for Mother, I (again) started to write down my Mom's name. Before I got two letters down, I had the "ah ha" moment. That's me! I am a Mother. I am Baby Z's Mother.
Doing Mom Duty in Public
Although there were times I handled being a Mom in public, the moment of realization or appreciation came when I met some friends for coffee at a Starbucks. We sat outside on the patio and I had to feed Baby Z. I didn't stress too much about it and just got a blanket and started to feed him in the metal chair. For a Mom who usually breastfed with a strategic propping of pillows and cloth diapers, this was certainly a higher level of difficulty. It was awkward, but we did it. I seriously felt like a pro!
Realizing You Can't Do It Alone
The first time I called a friend to share my frustration and let myself cry. Baby Z was about 10 weeks old and the infant easy sleeping was starting to wear off. After several days of very frustrating naps and DREAD hanging over me at all times, I finally took my husband's advice and called a friend (and Mom of 3 kids). This was a turning point for me because I realized I wasn't supposed to have all the answers inately and that it was okay to ask for help besides letting someone get groceries or do the laundry. This was also a turning point because we started to swaddle again and let Baby Z cry until he fell asleep. After just a day or so, he was already sleeping better and I felt like I was finally making decisions rather than just letting myself get whipped around by the day's events.
Those are some of my special Mom moments. Maybe you all will think of some of your own.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Wedded Bliss
Having just celebrated my Best Friend's wedding, and because John and I will be celebrating 9 years of marriage this Wednesday, I thought I would spend some time reflecting on marriage.
I love going to weddings, because it makes me remember moments from mine and realize again what a joy and honor it is to be married. I think more about all the wonderful moments John and I have had over the last 9 years and I think less about wet towels in the laundry basket. If there is dancing at the wedding (which there most definitely was at the one this weekend!), then some fun and closeness on the dance floor also usually kicks up some sparks and I remember how staggeringly handsome my husband is.
This weekend, Baby Z was in the capable care of Auntie M, and it was so nice to just be a couple. I didn't have to think about how Baby Z was doing or when we would have to leave. It was fantastic. Then, the next day, after the busy weekend mostly away from Baby Z, I fell in love with my little dude all over again. I just wanted to cuddle him all day. So, I'm renewing John and my vow to get a night away without the dude sometime soon. I know it will be refreshing and beneficial for all of us.
In plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in DINK-dom and parenthood, through newlywed fervor and lagging libido, in dancing and in damp, dirty laundry...
I love going to weddings, because it makes me remember moments from mine and realize again what a joy and honor it is to be married. I think more about all the wonderful moments John and I have had over the last 9 years and I think less about wet towels in the laundry basket. If there is dancing at the wedding (which there most definitely was at the one this weekend!), then some fun and closeness on the dance floor also usually kicks up some sparks and I remember how staggeringly handsome my husband is.
This weekend, Baby Z was in the capable care of Auntie M, and it was so nice to just be a couple. I didn't have to think about how Baby Z was doing or when we would have to leave. It was fantastic. Then, the next day, after the busy weekend mostly away from Baby Z, I fell in love with my little dude all over again. I just wanted to cuddle him all day. So, I'm renewing John and my vow to get a night away without the dude sometime soon. I know it will be refreshing and beneficial for all of us.
In plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in DINK-dom and parenthood, through newlywed fervor and lagging libido, in dancing and in damp, dirty laundry...
Friday, June 22, 2007
XLS, My Baby Z
This weekend one of my very best friends is getting married! We have a whole weekend of fun activities planned with the bridal party and guests who are in from out of town. She has the most incredible group of women as her bridesmaids, so hanging out with all of them is so much fun. Needless to say, I'm PUMPED to get to participate in all of it and I've been diligently planning for how to handle Baby Z throughout the weekend.
I have a spreadsheet detailing the weekend activities, with a column for me, John and Baby Z. Everyone has notes on where they need to be when. Another column shows who will be babysitting- Grandma and Auntie M. Another spreadsheet gives a very detailed account of Baby Z's day, for John and the babysitters. How detailed? How about this:
" Turn off lights in bedroom except for nightlight (round ball light on shelf). To get the nightlight to stay one color, wait til it turns blue then hit the little button on bottom. Then carefully connect back to plug in/stand. If it jumps to the color red, then wait til it turns blue again and start over...."
So, really, only a moderate control freak new Mom would do this, right? Well, I mostly worry about the babysitters, not Baby Z. The last thing I want is for them to have a tough time just because I forgot to mention some little quirk. I know, Baby Z is not likely to lose it over a night light, but still, I have to be thorough.
So, I think I'm ready for the big weekend.
Except for the shoes that don't work with the dress. Oops. Some last minute shoe shopping is in order.
I have a spreadsheet detailing the weekend activities, with a column for me, John and Baby Z. Everyone has notes on where they need to be when. Another column shows who will be babysitting- Grandma and Auntie M. Another spreadsheet gives a very detailed account of Baby Z's day, for John and the babysitters. How detailed? How about this:
" Turn off lights in bedroom except for nightlight (round ball light on shelf). To get the nightlight to stay one color, wait til it turns blue then hit the little button on bottom. Then carefully connect back to plug in/stand. If it jumps to the color red, then wait til it turns blue again and start over...."
So, really, only a moderate control freak new Mom would do this, right? Well, I mostly worry about the babysitters, not Baby Z. The last thing I want is for them to have a tough time just because I forgot to mention some little quirk. I know, Baby Z is not likely to lose it over a night light, but still, I have to be thorough.
So, I think I'm ready for the big weekend.
Except for the shoes that don't work with the dress. Oops. Some last minute shoe shopping is in order.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Easy Posting
A fun gift for Baby Z and an afternoon photo shoot have yielded Easy Material for me and one of my best friends, who also has a blog. Go ahead and take a peep and have a laugh.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
If you embarass easy, watch out...
I heard all kinds of things about being pregnant and having a baby. You know those conversations women have that are almost like hazing for the younger women who aren't yet pregnant. Elephant ankles, stretchmarks from armpit to knee cap, p-p-pitosine, stitches and donut cushions for sitting. I listened to them all, wondering which ones I would also have to endure. But the one thing No One told me was how it all would change sex (whispered).
Okay, so "What to Expect When Expecting" does cover pretty well how sex may change when you're pregnant. But it kind of covers the gammit (which makes sense, b/c not everyone has the same experience)-- from those who get super-libido's to others who suddenly can't imagine tackling sex when they can't even tie their shoes. My pregnancy had ups and downs for my sex drive, and at the end, the belly was pretty unwieldy, but I thought, oh, it's just 9 months or so.
Then, after the baby came, I thought we would wait out the doctor-ordered abstinence and come out the other side rip-roaring ready to go. Apparently my body didn't get the memo on that one. I was somewhat horrified to recognize that I had absolutely ZERO interest in sex. At first, it was like the magazine articles said -- being up all night, lots of cuddling with baby, feeling overly needed already by the baby -- all these led to very little desire to get it on. But after a while, when some of those feelings diminished, I still didn't feel like a roll in the hay.
After some soul-searching and long talks with John, to make sure there weren't some emotional, relational factors in our lagging sex life, I finally talked to my OB/GYN doctor. She reassured me that a low libido was common while breastfeeding. Just not enough estrogen to get things going. (And, by the way, more noticeable laugh lines on the face also a result of that lacking estrogen.) She said it would get better when the breastfeeding slowed down, like when the baby started eating solids.
I would be lying if I didn't admit that I considered stopping breastfeeding just to get a sex life back. I know, I know. Logic took control again and I remembered that this is just a short period of time and I want to do what's best for Baby Z. But dang, the sacrifices just keep coming!
Anyway, I decided to write about this today, because I finally have some good news to report. Ms. Libido has decided to return. She mostly just comes to visit occasionally, but she has lives in the same city (as opposed to a different country), so it feels like she might be coming over more often. I am very happy about that. (And so is John.)
I heard all kinds of things about being pregnant and having a baby. You know those conversations women have that are almost like hazing for the younger women who aren't yet pregnant. Elephant ankles, stretchmarks from armpit to knee cap, p-p-pitosine, stitches and donut cushions for sitting. I listened to them all, wondering which ones I would also have to endure. But the one thing No One told me was how it all would change sex (whispered).
Okay, so "What to Expect When Expecting" does cover pretty well how sex may change when you're pregnant. But it kind of covers the gammit (which makes sense, b/c not everyone has the same experience)-- from those who get super-libido's to others who suddenly can't imagine tackling sex when they can't even tie their shoes. My pregnancy had ups and downs for my sex drive, and at the end, the belly was pretty unwieldy, but I thought, oh, it's just 9 months or so.
Then, after the baby came, I thought we would wait out the doctor-ordered abstinence and come out the other side rip-roaring ready to go. Apparently my body didn't get the memo on that one. I was somewhat horrified to recognize that I had absolutely ZERO interest in sex. At first, it was like the magazine articles said -- being up all night, lots of cuddling with baby, feeling overly needed already by the baby -- all these led to very little desire to get it on. But after a while, when some of those feelings diminished, I still didn't feel like a roll in the hay.
After some soul-searching and long talks with John, to make sure there weren't some emotional, relational factors in our lagging sex life, I finally talked to my OB/GYN doctor. She reassured me that a low libido was common while breastfeeding. Just not enough estrogen to get things going. (And, by the way, more noticeable laugh lines on the face also a result of that lacking estrogen.) She said it would get better when the breastfeeding slowed down, like when the baby started eating solids.
I would be lying if I didn't admit that I considered stopping breastfeeding just to get a sex life back. I know, I know. Logic took control again and I remembered that this is just a short period of time and I want to do what's best for Baby Z. But dang, the sacrifices just keep coming!
Anyway, I decided to write about this today, because I finally have some good news to report. Ms. Libido has decided to return. She mostly just comes to visit occasionally, but she has lives in the same city (as opposed to a different country), so it feels like she might be coming over more often. I am very happy about that. (And so is John.)
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Victory Lap for Baby Z
Yeah for Baby Z!!
On Thursday, Baby Z had a full, long nap in the afternoon with only a quick fuss at the 45-minute mark. Yeah!! I can't believe how good it felt to see some progress toward our goal. He was so much happier in the evening after a good afternoon nap. It was such a joy to see him with a full tank of sleep. Even others (we were at my Mom's for dinner) noticed the difference.
Since this last hurdle, I've been thinking more about other challenges we've been through and how God has helped us make it through and I've seen the results of our effort and persistence. It's so easy for me to get focused on the current problem rather than think about the past successes. (And I always thought I would never be like the Israelites who moaned about dying in the desert after God had rescued them so many times.)
So, I wanted to list a few of our past victories to remember how good God is. And, I'll have it written down for the next challenge that comes.
>Spit Up Bonanza - When it felt like feeding always involved a change of clothes for me and Baby Z. It was especially fun when it hit the only pair of pants that fit after just washing them. And then there was the 7 spit-ups-in-a-row time I was convinced that something was very, very wrong with Baby Z and called the doctor sobbing. Unlike the doctor's prediction that he would grow out of it by the time he was one, Baby Z got a lot better after 4 months. I also got a lot better at handling the spit up and only rarely does he get me good. :)
> Sleeping Through the Night - There was a time when Baby Z was resolutely stuck on the 3 hour feeding schedule- waking up exactly every 3 hours all night long. I waited and waited for the magic to kick in when I would just wake up one morning and realize he made it through the night. Nope. I had to work at dropping both of the middle of the night feedings - about 1 or 2 am and then 4 or 5 am. It was always hard to listen to crying at night, when 5 minutes seemed like 20, but we did it. All in all, it usually took 2-3 nights and then we were through it.
>Waking Up At Night (5-6 month-old version -because I'm sure there will be more ahead) - This one was the Pacifier problem I have already written about. We made it through that one too! And Baby Z is sleeping very soundly all night. Just a little bit of chatting early in the morning (around 6:30am or so), and then back to sleep until 8am.
That's it for now. Many more challenges and victories ahead!
On Thursday, Baby Z had a full, long nap in the afternoon with only a quick fuss at the 45-minute mark. Yeah!! I can't believe how good it felt to see some progress toward our goal. He was so much happier in the evening after a good afternoon nap. It was such a joy to see him with a full tank of sleep. Even others (we were at my Mom's for dinner) noticed the difference.
Since this last hurdle, I've been thinking more about other challenges we've been through and how God has helped us make it through and I've seen the results of our effort and persistence. It's so easy for me to get focused on the current problem rather than think about the past successes. (And I always thought I would never be like the Israelites who moaned about dying in the desert after God had rescued them so many times.)
So, I wanted to list a few of our past victories to remember how good God is. And, I'll have it written down for the next challenge that comes.
>Spit Up Bonanza - When it felt like feeding always involved a change of clothes for me and Baby Z. It was especially fun when it hit the only pair of pants that fit after just washing them. And then there was the 7 spit-ups-in-a-row time I was convinced that something was very, very wrong with Baby Z and called the doctor sobbing. Unlike the doctor's prediction that he would grow out of it by the time he was one, Baby Z got a lot better after 4 months. I also got a lot better at handling the spit up and only rarely does he get me good. :)
> Sleeping Through the Night - There was a time when Baby Z was resolutely stuck on the 3 hour feeding schedule- waking up exactly every 3 hours all night long. I waited and waited for the magic to kick in when I would just wake up one morning and realize he made it through the night. Nope. I had to work at dropping both of the middle of the night feedings - about 1 or 2 am and then 4 or 5 am. It was always hard to listen to crying at night, when 5 minutes seemed like 20, but we did it. All in all, it usually took 2-3 nights and then we were through it.
>Waking Up At Night (5-6 month-old version -because I'm sure there will be more ahead) - This one was the Pacifier problem I have already written about. We made it through that one too! And Baby Z is sleeping very soundly all night. Just a little bit of chatting early in the morning (around 6:30am or so), and then back to sleep until 8am.
That's it for now. Many more challenges and victories ahead!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Most Disgusting Moment of Motherhood To Date
The title says it all. Poor Baby Z has a really bad diaper rash, which seemed to suddenly get worse in the last day somehow. I gave him a bath and was letting him hang out naked on a blanket to give his bottom some air time. I had pads down and cloth diapers around in case Baby Z decided to put on a water show. Instead, before I realized what was going on, he was crying because he had started to go poo. I just sat there and watched the little S curve (Oprah would be proud) come out. The good part, I guess, was it came right out onto the cloth diaper instead of getting rubbed all over his little bottom. I had a flash of what the "good old days" were like because I had to rinse the cloth diaper in the toilet and then pop it in the washing machine.
GROSS.
I guess I'm a real Mom now since I was more worried about the diaper rash hurting him than the poop everywhere.
GROSS.
I guess I'm a real Mom now since I was more worried about the diaper rash hurting him than the poop everywhere.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Scraping Knees
12:51 pm. We're halfway through one day of our new approach. I'm scraping my knees on the way over the wall, but I'm not giving up. Baby Z cried for an hour and a half and then finally fell back to sleep at 12:30pm. Usually the latest I ever waited was 12:15pm if he was crying. My BWG did say she has never heard of a baby going longer than an hour and a half (assuming no sickness or other problems).
Will update later today with news of the afternoon nap. Hee hee- as if there are people out there checking this blog hourly or something. :) Anyway, it is more for my endurance and coping.
5:46pm. Put Baby Z down at 4pm. Woke up at 4:45pm. Cried until 5:30pm and then...blessed silence. I managed the crying by turning our attic fan on (it's very loud but soothing) and listening to my iPod while cooking in the kitchen (and I could still hear him!). I'm tired, but I feel good. I feel like we made it over the wall. Still have a marathon ahead, but I'm hopeful we're going to make it. :)
Will update later today with news of the afternoon nap. Hee hee- as if there are people out there checking this blog hourly or something. :) Anyway, it is more for my endurance and coping.
5:46pm. Put Baby Z down at 4pm. Woke up at 4:45pm. Cried until 5:30pm and then...blessed silence. I managed the crying by turning our attic fan on (it's very loud but soothing) and listening to my iPod while cooking in the kitchen (and I could still hear him!). I'm tired, but I feel good. I feel like we made it over the wall. Still have a marathon ahead, but I'm hopeful we're going to make it. :)
Mile 13 Wall
In my metaphorical marathon of waiting out the 45-minute intruder in Baby Z's naps, I think I might be at mile 13 or maybe 15. And I hit the wall. (So I've heard that runners experience such a thing, because, make no mistake, I am not a runner.)
Yesterday I started to doubt my approach and wonder if it was some other issue like hunger or sickness. As soon as I let the doubt in, my resolve weakens and I find myself wanting to cry along with Baby Z. It really wasn't worse than any other day, but I just felt like something needed to change the equation and I didn't know what else to try.
So I called my Baby Wise Guru (BWG). Once again, her practical advice and encouragement have helped me break through a wall. I'm going to try 2 new things today:
1) I'm going to let Baby Z cry until he falls back to sleep. I kept waiting the 45 minutes of what should have been an hour and a half nap and then I'd get him up. She told me that the naps at his age will probably go longer than 1 1/2 hours and that I should wait to see if he goes back to sleep and then let him sleep as long as he'll go. I was thinking I had to stick to about 4 hours between feedings, so even if he did finally fall asleep, he would have only gotten 15 minutes or so of sleep. I guess now, at 6 months, the eating and sleeping patterns are well established, and I can start thinking of his meals in terms of breakfast, lunch, dinner. And, I don't have to ever wake him up from a nap, unless I have somewhere to go, or some practical reason for doing so.
This all makes sense and I'm going to try it today. The downside is that I'll probably have to listen to him cry for even longer, but my BWG swears that he will fall back asleep. And, I have to keep my mind on the long run -- that he'll have this sleep schedule (2 naps a day) for quite a while. We've got to work through this now or I could have a year of struggling with 45 minute naps.
2) I'm going to feed Baby Z solids until he won't take anymore. I had been fixing a portion and then just stopping there, instead of looking to see how much he would eat. I read that the baby will refuse to eat once they are full, but I just didn't keep going to that point. So, in a way, I guess my worries about him being hungry were a little true. Although I don't think he was starving, I'm sure being full will help him sleep a little better. Once again, I can see how I get stuck in a pattern of doing something and Baby Z grows right past it-- I'm at the 6 month-old one ice cube of sweet potato, and he's pressed on to the almost 7 month-old 2 ice cubes and more cereal, too!
I feel more hopeful knowing that I'm trying some new things. It also helps to know that the work of the past 6 months has paid off in establishing a routine, and once we get through this transition to a new nap schedule, that we'll be in this mode for quite some time. Thanks to those out there who "listened" and for your encouraging words. It helps to know that others have hit the wall in the past and still completed the marathon.
Yesterday I started to doubt my approach and wonder if it was some other issue like hunger or sickness. As soon as I let the doubt in, my resolve weakens and I find myself wanting to cry along with Baby Z. It really wasn't worse than any other day, but I just felt like something needed to change the equation and I didn't know what else to try.
So I called my Baby Wise Guru (BWG). Once again, her practical advice and encouragement have helped me break through a wall. I'm going to try 2 new things today:
1) I'm going to let Baby Z cry until he falls back to sleep. I kept waiting the 45 minutes of what should have been an hour and a half nap and then I'd get him up. She told me that the naps at his age will probably go longer than 1 1/2 hours and that I should wait to see if he goes back to sleep and then let him sleep as long as he'll go. I was thinking I had to stick to about 4 hours between feedings, so even if he did finally fall asleep, he would have only gotten 15 minutes or so of sleep. I guess now, at 6 months, the eating and sleeping patterns are well established, and I can start thinking of his meals in terms of breakfast, lunch, dinner. And, I don't have to ever wake him up from a nap, unless I have somewhere to go, or some practical reason for doing so.
This all makes sense and I'm going to try it today. The downside is that I'll probably have to listen to him cry for even longer, but my BWG swears that he will fall back asleep. And, I have to keep my mind on the long run -- that he'll have this sleep schedule (2 naps a day) for quite a while. We've got to work through this now or I could have a year of struggling with 45 minute naps.
2) I'm going to feed Baby Z solids until he won't take anymore. I had been fixing a portion and then just stopping there, instead of looking to see how much he would eat. I read that the baby will refuse to eat once they are full, but I just didn't keep going to that point. So, in a way, I guess my worries about him being hungry were a little true. Although I don't think he was starving, I'm sure being full will help him sleep a little better. Once again, I can see how I get stuck in a pattern of doing something and Baby Z grows right past it-- I'm at the 6 month-old one ice cube of sweet potato, and he's pressed on to the almost 7 month-old 2 ice cubes and more cereal, too!
I feel more hopeful knowing that I'm trying some new things. It also helps to know that the work of the past 6 months has paid off in establishing a routine, and once we get through this transition to a new nap schedule, that we'll be in this mode for quite some time. Thanks to those out there who "listened" and for your encouraging words. It helps to know that others have hit the wall in the past and still completed the marathon.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Take that Progesterone!
I actually consider myself a pretty even-keeled person, and co-workers would often comment on how much they appreciated my calming, down-to-earth nature amidst stress at work. Somehow, this quality of mine is not translating well in my new role as a Mom at home. I have to give some blame to the insanity-inducing hormones raging through my body, but I have to take responsibility also. Unfortunately, it is my husband, John, who gets the brunt of this struggle. The poor guy has often patiently taken shrapnel from my explosions of bad mood at home when something wasn't going well (the little dude's nap or feeding, or perhaps something with dinner).
I have recently been reading "Beautiful in God's Eyes" by Elizabeth George, a study of the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible.
"A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10
One of the things I'm learning from this model of womanhood in the Bible is that a wife of value brings calm, steadiness and joy to those around her.
So, I've decided to wage war against my bad moods. There are several fronts to this battle, including one to help with the hormones. I bought some vitiman B6 and evening primrose oil capsules, which are supposed to help with PMS. I'm going to make sure I eat a better lunch and have a healthy snack in the afternoon, since my moods are often connected to low blood sugar. I'm also going to continue walking in the sunshine (exercise and vitamin D) and further my study in the art of the afternoon nap.
On the spiritual side, I've been praying and reading verses in the Bible about keeping a calm spirit, being wise in responding to situations, etc. Here are some that might be helpful for others out there.
"A heart at peace gives life to the body..." Prov. 14:30a
"A man's wisdom gives him patience..." Prov. 19:11a -- or, a woman's wisdom gives her patience
"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." Prov. 25:28
I've taped these verses to the bathroom mirror so that I don't forget them in the afternoon hours of frustration and crabbiness. I've already seen some progress. Yesterday was pretty tough (Sundays usually are) and I prayed and breathed and came close, but didn't break down into a temper tantrum. Praise the Lord!
I have recently been reading "Beautiful in God's Eyes" by Elizabeth George, a study of the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible.
"A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10
One of the things I'm learning from this model of womanhood in the Bible is that a wife of value brings calm, steadiness and joy to those around her.
So, I've decided to wage war against my bad moods. There are several fronts to this battle, including one to help with the hormones. I bought some vitiman B6 and evening primrose oil capsules, which are supposed to help with PMS. I'm going to make sure I eat a better lunch and have a healthy snack in the afternoon, since my moods are often connected to low blood sugar. I'm also going to continue walking in the sunshine (exercise and vitamin D) and further my study in the art of the afternoon nap.
On the spiritual side, I've been praying and reading verses in the Bible about keeping a calm spirit, being wise in responding to situations, etc. Here are some that might be helpful for others out there.
"A heart at peace gives life to the body..." Prov. 14:30a
"A man's wisdom gives him patience..." Prov. 19:11a -- or, a woman's wisdom gives her patience
"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control." Prov. 25:28
I've taped these verses to the bathroom mirror so that I don't forget them in the afternoon hours of frustration and crabbiness. I've already seen some progress. Yesterday was pretty tough (Sundays usually are) and I prayed and breathed and came close, but didn't break down into a temper tantrum. Praise the Lord!
Thursday, June 7, 2007
45-Minute What?
If you are doing the Baby Wise approach you are certainly familiar with the term 45-minute intruder. For those who aren't familiar with this term see below.
I wonder if they brainstormed names for this phenomenon before settling on "intruder." I think some of these might have been considered: robber, invader, great barbarian horde.
Baby Z and I have been struggling with the 45 minute intruder off and on for a long time. In the past, the pacifier was guaranteed to soothe Baby Z back into slumber. Recently, the intruder is so...well, intrusive, that not even the pacifier makes a dent. I think I mentioned once already that the intruder becomes more pronounced around 6 months, perhaps because the baby is more aware of his surroundings and stays awake to look around. Baby Wise II states you should not intervene and keep him in bed until his sleep patterns override his curiosity.
For his morning nap, the very curious Baby Z mostly coos and chats to himself and then toward the end of his nap time starts to cry a little. I've been waiting this one out for about 4-5 days now-- that is, I haven't been going in at all. For the most part, he hasn't been going back to sleep again except for a few times. But I will take that as encouragement that it will happen more consistently. I really need a little light at the end of the tunnel.
The afternoon nap is another story. He wakes up and it sounds like Baby Z's world is ending. It is the kind of cry that makes you think he's in pain or very scared. The thing is, when I have settled him down, it becomes clear that he was just upset -- there was no pain-- just an improved proficiency at crying. Since this started (maybe a week ago), I have been picking him up, soothing him and then putting him back down before he falls asleep. This took about 3-5 minutes and worked like a charm.
Yesterday, everything changed. I soothed, comforted, rocked, shushed for 45 minutes without much affect. It started to remind me of when we were learning how to put Baby Z to bed-- the more we tried to comfort him before putting him down, the more worked up he got. We finally learned that he did best if we just put him right to bed. So, yesterday, out of exhaustion more than a calculated decision of parenting, I put him down and walked out of the room. I sat on my bed and cried and prayed, trying to figure out what to do next. After 5 minutes of this, low and behold, I heard Baby Z start to soothe himself --low mmm sounds and sucking on his hand. There was still more crying after that, but it proved to me that he could talk himself down off the crying cliff, so to speak.
So, I geared myself up to wait out the 45-minute barbarian horde for as long as it takes for Baby Z to learn how to go back to sleep. Thankfully, the end-of-the-world cries are happening not as often, and he's back to the average cry. It is still hard to listen to that for half an hour or more. Baby Wise II says that the 45-minute intruder at 6 months could go on for anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks. What I thought was a sprint just turned into a marathon. I feel a little underprepared; I'm going to have to stick this one out on willpower and a lot of prayer. If it takes 3 weeks, then I figure I'm at mile 9 or so.
45-minute intruder: The baby wakes up 45 minutes into a nap. It could be caused by hunger (Baby Wise says to first treat it as a hunger problem) or because the baby is transitioning between relaxed sleep patterns and active sleep patterns. Especially at 6 months, "as your child comes out of the relaxed sleep state, his new sense of alertness is affected by familiar sounds...The alertness seems to trigger curiosity, and instead of falling back to sleep, he wakes and cries for you."
I wonder if they brainstormed names for this phenomenon before settling on "intruder." I think some of these might have been considered: robber, invader, great barbarian horde.
Baby Z and I have been struggling with the 45 minute intruder off and on for a long time. In the past, the pacifier was guaranteed to soothe Baby Z back into slumber. Recently, the intruder is so...well, intrusive, that not even the pacifier makes a dent. I think I mentioned once already that the intruder becomes more pronounced around 6 months, perhaps because the baby is more aware of his surroundings and stays awake to look around. Baby Wise II states you should not intervene and keep him in bed until his sleep patterns override his curiosity.
For his morning nap, the very curious Baby Z mostly coos and chats to himself and then toward the end of his nap time starts to cry a little. I've been waiting this one out for about 4-5 days now-- that is, I haven't been going in at all. For the most part, he hasn't been going back to sleep again except for a few times. But I will take that as encouragement that it will happen more consistently. I really need a little light at the end of the tunnel.
The afternoon nap is another story. He wakes up and it sounds like Baby Z's world is ending. It is the kind of cry that makes you think he's in pain or very scared. The thing is, when I have settled him down, it becomes clear that he was just upset -- there was no pain-- just an improved proficiency at crying. Since this started (maybe a week ago), I have been picking him up, soothing him and then putting him back down before he falls asleep. This took about 3-5 minutes and worked like a charm.
Yesterday, everything changed. I soothed, comforted, rocked, shushed for 45 minutes without much affect. It started to remind me of when we were learning how to put Baby Z to bed-- the more we tried to comfort him before putting him down, the more worked up he got. We finally learned that he did best if we just put him right to bed. So, yesterday, out of exhaustion more than a calculated decision of parenting, I put him down and walked out of the room. I sat on my bed and cried and prayed, trying to figure out what to do next. After 5 minutes of this, low and behold, I heard Baby Z start to soothe himself --low mmm sounds and sucking on his hand. There was still more crying after that, but it proved to me that he could talk himself down off the crying cliff, so to speak.
So, I geared myself up to wait out the 45-minute barbarian horde for as long as it takes for Baby Z to learn how to go back to sleep. Thankfully, the end-of-the-world cries are happening not as often, and he's back to the average cry. It is still hard to listen to that for half an hour or more. Baby Wise II says that the 45-minute intruder at 6 months could go on for anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks. What I thought was a sprint just turned into a marathon. I feel a little underprepared; I'm going to have to stick this one out on willpower and a lot of prayer. If it takes 3 weeks, then I figure I'm at mile 9 or so.
45-minute intruder: The baby wakes up 45 minutes into a nap. It could be caused by hunger (Baby Wise says to first treat it as a hunger problem) or because the baby is transitioning between relaxed sleep patterns and active sleep patterns. Especially at 6 months, "as your child comes out of the relaxed sleep state, his new sense of alertness is affected by familiar sounds...The alertness seems to trigger curiosity, and instead of falling back to sleep, he wakes and cries for you."
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Breakfast of Champions
We've entered a new phase in solid food eating - the yellow/orange vegetable. Baby Z just started Sweet Potatoes. His reaction was tepid, to say the least (that's the bite of sweet potato hanging out there while Baby Z ponders if he wants to suck it in and swallow it). Really, who can blame him?
Who eats Sweet Potato for breakfast anyway?
Perhaps he would prefer some of Mommy's breakfast - grapenuts (with Mount Rushmore impression) or a blueberry muffin?
Hang in there, Baby Z. I think hearty crunchy grain cereal is an upcoming solid food group!
Who eats Sweet Potato for breakfast anyway?
Perhaps he would prefer some of Mommy's breakfast - grapenuts (with Mount Rushmore impression) or a blueberry muffin?
Hang in there, Baby Z. I think hearty crunchy grain cereal is an upcoming solid food group!
Collateral Damage
Object permanence and separation anxiety are just fancy terms for a CRYING BABY.
I think we may have hit the beginning of that stage for Baby Z. He is starting to be much more aware of his surroundings to the point where if he wakes up in a strange place (because I've taken him somewhere in his car seat), he looks visibly alarmed and jerks his head all around trying to take it all in. It's very exciting that Baby Z is learning that there are different places and things and the ones he prefers (Mommy and Daddy and home) are there even when he can't see them. However, it is extremely inconvenient when you get a call from the babysitter when you're out on a date with your husband.
We dropped Baby Z off at John's parents' house. Grandma and Grandpa were extremely excited to spend time with Baby Z. While Grandpa was out buying a new bouncy seat sort of contraption to entertain their only grandson, Baby Z suddenly decided he wasn't havin' it anymore. He started to cry. And cry. And cry. This is also a new skill of 6-month old Baby Z. He can cry like a banshee with the lungs of a marathon runner. And now, the cry seems to be mostly emotional - not due to a physical discomfort. The only thing that works is comfort- shushing, swaying, whispering. Whether Grandma and Grandpa weren't combining the right combo of shushing and swaying, or Baby Z just wanted Mommy's version of them, it's not clear. Finally, Auntie and Uncle (regular babysitters for us) stopped by and helped calm the situation.
We finally got the call and left our movie early (got our money back, thankfully). When we got to the house, Grandpa was hunkered down in the garage fiddling with something. Inside, we saw what looked like an encampment - a little quiet circle of soldiers hunched over, waiting for the next incoming shower of cries. One look at my mother-in-law's face, and I knew she wasn't going to be babysitting again for a while. She literally looked shell-shocked. Like she had seen atrocities of war. I felt very badly for her.
We soothed the overly tired baby and tried to reassure everyone he was fine and they didn't do anything wrong. Grandma and Grandpa stated resolutely that they had never seen a baby cry like that (?), with that vein pulsing out of his forehead. Selective memory of grandparenthood, I guess. Grandma thought he was having a baby stroke (her words for a seizure). We weren't exactly sure what had happened, but we suspected Baby Z just got overwhelmed by the new place and people he doeesn't see all the time. But, what are you gonna say? - Their grandson is frightened by them? We muttered about him missing naps and shuffled our way toward the door.
Once home, Baby Z seemed fine. Just very, very tired. Off to bed and he was his perky self in the morning. I wish we could say the same for Grandma and Grandpa.
I think we may have hit the beginning of that stage for Baby Z. He is starting to be much more aware of his surroundings to the point where if he wakes up in a strange place (because I've taken him somewhere in his car seat), he looks visibly alarmed and jerks his head all around trying to take it all in. It's very exciting that Baby Z is learning that there are different places and things and the ones he prefers (Mommy and Daddy and home) are there even when he can't see them. However, it is extremely inconvenient when you get a call from the babysitter when you're out on a date with your husband.
We dropped Baby Z off at John's parents' house. Grandma and Grandpa were extremely excited to spend time with Baby Z. While Grandpa was out buying a new bouncy seat sort of contraption to entertain their only grandson, Baby Z suddenly decided he wasn't havin' it anymore. He started to cry. And cry. And cry. This is also a new skill of 6-month old Baby Z. He can cry like a banshee with the lungs of a marathon runner. And now, the cry seems to be mostly emotional - not due to a physical discomfort. The only thing that works is comfort- shushing, swaying, whispering. Whether Grandma and Grandpa weren't combining the right combo of shushing and swaying, or Baby Z just wanted Mommy's version of them, it's not clear. Finally, Auntie and Uncle (regular babysitters for us) stopped by and helped calm the situation.
We finally got the call and left our movie early (got our money back, thankfully). When we got to the house, Grandpa was hunkered down in the garage fiddling with something. Inside, we saw what looked like an encampment - a little quiet circle of soldiers hunched over, waiting for the next incoming shower of cries. One look at my mother-in-law's face, and I knew she wasn't going to be babysitting again for a while. She literally looked shell-shocked. Like she had seen atrocities of war. I felt very badly for her.
We soothed the overly tired baby and tried to reassure everyone he was fine and they didn't do anything wrong. Grandma and Grandpa stated resolutely that they had never seen a baby cry like that (?), with that vein pulsing out of his forehead. Selective memory of grandparenthood, I guess. Grandma thought he was having a baby stroke (her words for a seizure). We weren't exactly sure what had happened, but we suspected Baby Z just got overwhelmed by the new place and people he doeesn't see all the time. But, what are you gonna say? - Their grandson is frightened by them? We muttered about him missing naps and shuffled our way toward the door.
Once home, Baby Z seemed fine. Just very, very tired. Off to bed and he was his perky self in the morning. I wish we could say the same for Grandma and Grandpa.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Adult Conversation
Do other Moms ever feel like they don't have much to talk about besides their kids? It's understandable, especially in the early months, when your life and mind is so consumed with this new little person. At that stage, you are focused on every cry, every diaper, every hiccup.
Now that Baby Z is 6 months old, I should definitely be moving beyond the baby-centered mindset a little, right? If I use my working days as a model, I should be talking about things besides the detailed in's and out's of my day - that email sent, the look on that person's face. Of course, my previous job was so esoteric, no one understood what I did anyway. And now, the job involves a cute little dude that everyone likes.
Still.
So, if you don't mind, I'm going to stream-of-conscious spew these weird little details of being a Mom on you all. Better you than the next friend who calls or stops by. :)
Baby's Z's scratching his face again can't seem to keep his nails cut tried oatmeal today for the first time it sure is goopy much harder to clean up than rice cereal and Baby Z is more interested in chewing on his plastic bib than eating the new goop Baby's Z's eyes are still blue green up until when can their eyes still change want to prove John's grandma wrong and tell her he really does have blue eyes Z's poop has been a little thicker than before I guess that is the cereal wonder what the sweet potato will do to it how the heck am I going to strain all those fibers out of the sweet potato have to read the book again about how to cook it at least I have the sweet potatoes now and not the stinking yams grrr Baby Z didn't wake up last night two nights in a row now feels good have succumbed to using the pacifier to get him through the mid-nap wake up in the afternoon why does he wake up crying like he has been imprisoned in a black barred cage oh wait he has hmm is he really thinking that nah gotta install those hooks for the blinds cords involves a screwdriver yuck maybe can get John to do it this weekend could really go for some chocolate bye
Now that Baby Z is 6 months old, I should definitely be moving beyond the baby-centered mindset a little, right? If I use my working days as a model, I should be talking about things besides the detailed in's and out's of my day - that email sent, the look on that person's face. Of course, my previous job was so esoteric, no one understood what I did anyway. And now, the job involves a cute little dude that everyone likes.
Still.
So, if you don't mind, I'm going to stream-of-conscious spew these weird little details of being a Mom on you all. Better you than the next friend who calls or stops by. :)
Baby's Z's scratching his face again can't seem to keep his nails cut tried oatmeal today for the first time it sure is goopy much harder to clean up than rice cereal and Baby Z is more interested in chewing on his plastic bib than eating the new goop Baby's Z's eyes are still blue green up until when can their eyes still change want to prove John's grandma wrong and tell her he really does have blue eyes Z's poop has been a little thicker than before I guess that is the cereal wonder what the sweet potato will do to it how the heck am I going to strain all those fibers out of the sweet potato have to read the book again about how to cook it at least I have the sweet potatoes now and not the stinking yams grrr Baby Z didn't wake up last night two nights in a row now feels good have succumbed to using the pacifier to get him through the mid-nap wake up in the afternoon why does he wake up crying like he has been imprisoned in a black barred cage oh wait he has hmm is he really thinking that nah gotta install those hooks for the blinds cords involves a screwdriver yuck maybe can get John to do it this weekend could really go for some chocolate bye
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